The lymphatic system is a unique drainage system. It is composed of a network of vessels and small structures called lymph nodes. The lymph vessels convey excess fluid collected from all over the body back into the blood circulation. Along the way, however, these fluids are forced to percolate through the lymph nodes so that they can be filtered. Harmful organisms are trapped and destroyed by the specialized white blood cells, called lymphocytes, that are present in these nodes. Lymphocytes are also added to the lymph that flows out of nodes and back to the bloodstream. When any of the lymph nodes are removed, the perfectly working drainage system malfunctions. The lymphatic fluid has to collect in other areas of the body. Sometimes, through manual lymphatic massage, the fluid can be forced to other working lymph nodes, but the body doesn't automatically send the fluid there on its own. When the fluid collects in the body tissues instead of draining as it normally would, it's called Lymphedema. I have Lymphedema and that, makes my upper arms fat and swollen with lymphatic fluid.
I was sent to a Lymphatic therapist for several sessions of manual lymph massage. The massage helped some and I came home knowing how to perform the massage on myself each morning and each evening. The fluid kept on collecting in my upper arms and around my armpit area causing the top of my arms to become very fluid filled and swollen. Radiation exacerbated the swelling so the manual lymphatic massage is no longer effective.
Two weeks ago, I went to be measured and fitted for compression sleeves. The fitter was very precise in her measurements and ordered sleeves and gauntlets for me. Yesterday, I went to pick them up. The therapist carefully unpackaged each sleeve and helped me get them on correctly. The compression in the sleeves is 20-30 mmHG. They are very snug and difficult to get on. The therapist used rubber gloves with grips on them to help me work the compression sleeves up and over my heavily swollen arms. Once we got them in place, they felt very tight. She explained it would take me a day or two to get used to them but it would be easier if I put them on first thing in the morning since my arms would be less swollen then.
I had picked out patterned sleeves with hummingbirds and flowers all over them. I could have picked a solid nude color, but since I've got to wear these all the time, I might as well have a little fun with them. At first glance, people will think I have tattooed arm sleeves and that's okay. I'm sure I'll get an occasional question now and then too. Maybe I can come up with an interesting way to explain my story to them or maybe I'll just leave them guessing.
My arms feel better inside the compression sleeves and I'm glad there are medical aids like this to help those of us who suffer from Lymphedema. My fat arms look like sausages squished into decorative sleeves, but Lymphedema is no laughing matter! If the swelling isn't controlled, it can be very painful and cause physical limitations. There is no cure for Lymphedema, but hopefully the sleeves will help keep it manageable.
I wore the sleeves for several hours yesterday. Although they were very tight, they seemed to help my range of motion. Last night, when I removed them, I was amazed to see that my arms weren't swollen any longer. The sleeves must have compressed the fluid out of my upper arms and on to where it needed to go.
It took a little work to remove the sleeves by myself, but after getting them off I decided to take a bath to relax before bed. In the past, I would have run a tub full of very hot water and filled it with lavendar scented bubbles but now I can't do that. I can only take lukewarm baths and I can't use any kind of scented bath products. I can only use Ivory or Dove soap. The Radiation Oncologist told me that scented products would be very drying to my already sensitive skin and that water over 100 degrees would cause painful burning to my already damaged skin. So I did as I was instructed and had my bath with tepid water and gentle skin sparring soap.
As I went to bed, I was overcome with emotion. I was very frustrated. Not only was my skin burned from radiation, my arms fat and swollen from Lymphedema, and my body hideous looking but now, I was having trouble speaking and swallowing. The radiation to my neck and throat is affecting my voice. I lay in the darkness sobbing and feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to just give up. I was already tired of fighting. My husband leaned over to me and asked what was wrong because he'd heard me sniffling. I explained my feelings to him and he told me I had to keep fighting even though it was hard. I didn't want to...it was too hard to fight. I wanted to take the easy way out and quit! He handed me some tissue and I blew my nose. Phil told me to stop thinking about everything. He said, "just enjoy your book and then go to sleep." Could it be that simple? Could I just stop thinking about how uncomfortable I was and how tired I was of all this cancer drama?
I wiped my nose again as Phil turned over in bed. I flipped on my booklight and began to read. Within a few minutes, I was engrossed in a Stuart Woods book and my thoughts of cancer had faded away. I guess he was right. I just had to learn to turn off those thoughts when they came stampeding into my mind. I guess I needed to hone my skills of diversion...afterall, the battlefield is in my mind most of the time.
Sometime later, I drifted off to sleep. This morning, I found my book on the floor beside the bed. I looked at the clock and it was 5:00 a.m. It was time to get up! I slipped on my compression sleeves and walked into the kitchen. It was time to greet the new day. I still don't want to fight this war, but it was handpicked by God for me to fight, so I will. I do get frustrated. I do get tired. It is painful and discouraging and inconvenient...but I am doing the best I can. My body is weak, my mind plays tricks on me but I'm trying to stand firm. I know this fight isn't over and I have a long way to go yet. Even with my burned and scar riddled chest, my swollen and fat arms, my hoarse and damaged voice, I have to remember I am more than a conqueror. I definitely have some battle wounds and some PTSD but I will come out of this victoriously. Romans 8:37 says, “We are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” To conquer is to be victorious over an adversary. To be "more than a conqueror" means we not only achieve victory, but we are overwhelmingly victorious. I intend overcome cancer by continuing to fight even when I don't feel like it. I know it won't be easy, but I will keep my shield of faith up and my sword drawn. There are no better weapons I can use than these...and so, I fight on.
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