And that's the way it is

I began this post with Walter Cronkite's famous tag line, his sign off at the end of each CBS news broadcast. I couldn't think of a more fitting title for this post since I'm going to be telling it the way it is...

Yesterday was my 16th radiation treatment and it was an extremely a hard day for me. I didn't realize how hard it would be until I got home from treatment and went into the bathroom to apply the Radiaplex gel to my chest. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that my skin was really breaking down. There were dark red burns and spots along the wall of my chest. My skin felt so hot and and tender to the touch. Very gently I applied the prescription burn gel and put on my white "wife beater" tank top. (For those of you who aren't familiar with the term "wife beater," it's slang for a sleeveless white T-shirt and its reputation comes from low class types of men who would often wear the shirts while engaged in domestic violence i.e. drunk rednecks who frequently beat their wives.) The reason I'd chosen this type of shirt was because it was the only 100% cotton shirt I owned. Mine weren't really "wife beaters"... they were only similar to that...mine were from Old Navy and were women's tank tops! On my last examination, the doctor had warned me that I needed to pay particular attention to my skin care. She gave me an odd piece of advice saying I needed to sit around the house topless! When she said that, I was thinking to myself, "ummm, no." I couldn't do that..as sure as the world, my doorbell would ring and I'd be surprised with the unexpected visit from a friend! So the next best thing, was for me to find a way to allow the treatment area to get as much air to it as possible while remaining covered...therefore, the wife beater.

I began doing a little housework and before I was even able to start making the bed or washing clothes, was overcome with exhaustion. I was so very tired and felt like I didn't even have the energy to move across the room. Why was I so extremely tired? I knew that radiation has something to do with it, but this was a debilitating tiredness that I had never experienced before. I sat in my recliner and stayed there most of the day. I felt so guilty just sitting there doing nothing...there was so much that needed to be done.

Around 5:00 p.m. I glanced at the clock and realized that Phil would be home soon. I hadn't prepared a single thing for dinner. I usually have it almost ready by the time he comes home from work. When he came in the door and came over to me, he could tell I was having a bad day. He put his arms around me and asked how I was feeling. I began to weep and told him that I was just so very tired. I told him that I hadn't even prepared dinner and he told me not to worry about it.

God does some amazing things! At 5:45 p.m. our doorbell rang and Phil went to answer it. There, with a large stainless steel pot in her hands, stood one of our new neighbors. She was on her way to church and wanted to drop off a big pot of lentil stew she'd made for us. I couldn't help but cry like a little baby. God knew I was too tired to cook and so He had prompted Judith, our neighbor, to do it for me! What a huge blessing!

It's a good thing I wasn't sitting there topless when Judith came by to drop off our dinner! I'm sure she would have been completely shocked, as would I! God continues to amaze me at His provision during this time in my life. When I am completely drained physically, He meets my needs in ways I never expect. Without me even offering up a request to Him, He already knew...just like everything in our lives, He already knows our needs before we even ask! Sometimes, I think He finds joy in surprising us as a reminder that He's got it covered and that's the way it is....

©bonnie annis all rights reserved

"And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him." Matthew 6:7-8