Lonely nights

In the late 50's and early 60's, "I love Lucy" was my favorite television show. She always made me laugh hysterically at her funny antics. Once when I was watching her show, I wondered why she and Ricky slept in separate beds. I think I asked my mother about it and she said something along the lines of it being for modesty's sake...it wasn't proper to show them sleeping in the same bed. Sex certainly wasn't openly televised back then!

Last night I made the decision to sleep in one of our other bedrooms. My poor husband had been hanging onto the side of our king sized bed for too long! He'd been gracious enough not to complain as I added more and more pillows to our bed in hopes of finding a comfortable sleeping position, but neither of us were getting a sound night's sleep. It was strange as we kissed each other goodnight and went off toward separate rooms. For twenty one years, we've slept together unless one or the other of us was extremely ill or contagious. I'd grown accustomed to his snoring and he'd grown accustomed to my tossing and turning. It would be odd sleeping apart from one another. Before turning in, Phil helped me arrange the wedge shaped pillow in the middle of "my" bed and he placed the other pillows all around it as necessary to elevate my arms. We stood back and looked at my little "nest" of pillows and then turned to each other and gave each other a halfway smile knowing we weren't going to be beside each other tonight.

Phil has never had any problem getting to sleep. He works so hard and such long hours that as soon as his head hits the pillow, he's out. I, on the other hand, have always had trouble being able to relax and drift off to sleep...so much so, that the doctor had recently given me a sleeping aid to use for the next few weeks so my body could heal properly. I closed the door to my room and climbed into bed. It took several minutes to get positioned so my arms were above my heart, but I did it. Taking my book and my book light, I began reading where I'd left off the night before. I was deeply engrossed in a Stuart Woods' book. After reading a while, my eyes began to get heavy (thanks to the sleeping pill) and I slipped on my eye mask and inserted my foam ear plugs (a habit from sleeping with my snoring mate.) I don't remember falling asleep but I assume I did because the next thing I knew, I heard Phil leaving for work.

It was strange having to make up two beds this morning. It made me very sad that we hadn't been able to sleep together last night. I'm glad Phil was understanding of my desire to give him a peaceful, uninterrupted night's sleep and my need to spread out and take are of my arms. I remembered what he said last night as we parted ways, "even if we sleep in separate rooms, you know I still love you. Nothing is ever going to change that." I responded with a soft, "I know." And that's the way love is...it doesn't matter what comes our way. When you love someone, you always want the best for them. You put their needs above your own. You learn to be selfless and giving.

I am thankful we were both able to get a good night's sleep last night. It looks like we'll be doing this same routine for many more weeks to come. I'll miss his snoring, but I know he's only on the other side of the house and if I get to feeling better, I can always sneak over there and crawl under the covers with him.

I'm praying for a quick recovery but I know I still have quite a ways to go. When radiation begins, right after Labor day, I may be spending much more time in bed than I am now. The doctor has already told me that radiation causes extreme fatigue. I don't sleep well now, but I imagine, from what she's told me, that won't be a problem in weeks to come. Maybe it's best that we're sleeping in separate rooms for a little while...that way, Phil can get good sleep and so can I. It's amazing how much our bodies depend on uninterrupted sleep. The doctor told me that without good sleep, our cells can't rejuvenate and multiply. I definitely need my cells to get all the help they can get right now, so separate beds it is! I am holding on to the fact that this won't last forever and one day soon I'll be back in my own king sized, cool top, memory foam bed. I'll be snuggled up tightly against my husband and I may just leave my ear plugs out that first night so I can hear his beautiful snores all night long and be reminded that he's right there next to me. What do you think...should I do it?

I can just imagine Lucy doing an episode similar to that, can't you? I can just picture her funny face trying to cope with Ricky's loud snoring and in fact, there may have been an episode like that already but I just can't remember. She would probably hit him in the head with something and wake him up. I can just see him rising quickly out of bed yelling, "LUUUUUCCCCCYYYY" in his sexy Cuban accent and then chasing her around the room  as she begins with her famous crying "WAAAAAA." (be sure and check out this funny video of one of Lucy's antics...it will really make you smile!)

Watch Lucy sleep

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