You don't look sick

Me in my clown makeup

There was a popular commercial running on TV back in the early 80's for a cold remedy product. They were quite creative in their advertisement using the voice of a nagging old woman as she repeatedly said, "you don't sound sick" in her irritatingly nasal voice. The ad would show her husband, obviously feeling extremely ill, slumped down in his recliner, wad of tissue in hand. As he sniffles, coughs, and sneezes, the nagging wife torments him constantly with her taunting remark, "you don't sound sick." It was a great ad campaign because it made you think of the cold remedy product whenever you saw someone with a cold or flu. You could hear the old woman's voice resounding in your head. I thought of that commercial this morning as I got out of bed.

For several weeks now, various visitors and friends have made comments to me regarding my physical condition. The majority of them have said something along the lines of "you don't look sick or wow, no one would ever know you have Cancer." While those compliments are meant to be heartfelt and sincere, they also seem to suggest perhaps I should "look" a little worse than I do...after all, I do have Cancer.

What these well wishers don't know is that I'm a pro at applying makeup, and a little makeup can do wonders for hiding a vast array of maladies. The first thing I do every morning, after getting my shower, is apply my makeup. I've been doing it for over 40 years now and I've gotten it down to a mere 3.5 minutes. With all the products available today, it's a huge moral booster knowing that no matter how old I get or how bad I feel, a little makeup will go a long way towards brightening my day. Wrinkles...no problem! Slap on some primer and a little wrinkle reduction cream and BAM! 20 years instantly disappear. Red blotchy skin...a 24 hour foundation is a miracle worker. Dull, lifeless complexion...a little blush and some highlighting powder and I'm ready for a photo shoot. Makeup - the instant facade. It can be used to hide scars, physical abuse, a sleepless night, and even severe illnesses like Cancer.

So no, I may not "look" sick, but I sure feel it. Putting on makeup in the mornings helps me not dwell on how I feel as much. If I look good, I feel good (kinda sorta not really.) It's a mind game. When I have my complete "face" on, I don't see an almost 57 year old staring back at me in the mirror. I see a 30 or 40ish looking woman! (I can't dream can't I?) Anyway, I do find that I act better and I feel better with a coat of "warpaint" on my face.

It's so easy to hide behind makeup. Several years ago, I used to do a lot of clowning. My last clown routine was done in Alaska while on a mission trip. I had such fun donning my coat of white grease paint and then applying an oversized red mouth and dramatic black around my eyes. When I looked in the mirror before heading out to minister to the kids, I saw a person transformed. No longer was I a humble wife and mother...now I was "Sunny, the clown."

Clowns have always intrigued me. From the time I was a child, I was fascinated by Red Skelton's hobo act on his TV show. Freddie, the Freeloader was the hobo who lived in the city dump. Freddie would also be seen sleeping on a park bench often being told by a passing by police officer to move along or risk be arrested for vagrancy. I loved watching Red transform into character. Even though he was normally a happy, upbeat person, whenever he transitioned into character, his whole demeanor changed. Then there were the Ringling Brothers clowns from the circus. All manner of clowns ran, and rolled and frolicked in the center ring. There were big clowns and little clowns, happy clowns and sad clowns...all of them with their faces painted in great detail. But often, underneath the makeup, a deep sadness remains hidden.

Technically, if you think about it, our makeup today is basically a modernized form of the same type makeup used by clowns. Although not as heavy and dramatic, it still does the same thing...it camoflauges flaws on a person's face. The ads for the makeup today however tout tag lines such as "hydrates, corrects, perfects, revives, provides flawless looking skin, hides blemishes, brightens complexions, smooths wrinkles." Instead of using those technical phrases, why couldn't they just say something like this: "wake up looking haggard? slap on a coat of this and look 10 years younger" or "pulled an all nighter? no biggie...our product will hide the bags so you can go to work and no one will ever know" or "so, you've got Cancer and feel run down, no one will know if you wear this."

A good coat of makeup can hide many flaws including the signs of aging and energy loss from severe illness. The next time you are about to blurt out, "you don't look sick" or "you don't sound sick" stop for a moment and think. The person you long to compliment may be dealing with much more than you know. The makeup may be a secret weapon aimed at helping them cope better with what's going on in their life. Words offered in sincerity with love and kindness are easily accepted by those struggling through health issues, but words offered flippantly and in haste can sometimes sound like that old nagging woman on the cold remedy ad. It would be much better to say, "it looks like you're having a good day today" or "you look like you slept well last night" or something along those lines instead of "you don't look sick!"

I'm so thankful for the invention of makeup! It helps me feel better about myself even when I'm having a rough day. Without it, I'm sure I would get comments of concern because the physical aspects of my illness would be more apparent. Cancer patients worry enough about their physical appearance as it is...not so much for themselves, but for how it makes others feel when they see them in their weakened state. We can deal with the weakness. We can deal with the physical changes. We know we're fighting a constant battle. Those things aren't evident however when a good coat of makeup hides the struggle. Just remember, although I have on my "clown face" I may be having a sad day underneath. I will try to protect you from feeling sorry for me by putting my best foot forward. But underneath all of it, love and prayers can lift my face and my spirits better than any foundational firming cream! And if you want to see a beautiful, genuine smile on my face... one that's not painted on...just be my friend and tell me you love me...that means the most of all.

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