Today is a beautiful, rainy Fall day. I love these days when the constant rains usher in the beautiful colors of October and November. The air turns crisp and clean making me feel happy to be alive. This is the time of year that makes me long to be in the mountains where I can hike and camp. I love being outdoors because that's when I feel so full of life. Maybe that's what I'm missing, feeling full of life.
Yesterday, at the radiation clinic, I talked with Dr. Santiago about my recent time spent in Piedmont's emergency room. I could tell by the expression on her face that she was concerned. When I was placed on the table for treatment, the radiation therapists gathered around me. It's hard to answer questions lying on an exam table, totally exposed, while surrounded by women peering down at you. I felt like a bug under a microscope. I wondered what they were thinking as they looked at my naked chest. Did they feel sorry for me? I'm sure my huge, ugly scars screamed out for empathy and compassion...and if they didn't, well surely my massive radiation burns did. After their questions were satisfied, we commenced with radiation treatment number 22.
Later in the afternoon, I went to see the cardiologist. The emergency room doctor suggested I followup with a cardiologist today and since I didn't have one here in Newnan, I had to search the internet for a board certified doctor. I'm very particular about my medical team and it's been challenging to find all new doctors since moving from the Stone Mountain area. After a little digging, I found a highly recommended doctor affiliated with Piedmont Heart.
It's always stressful going to see a new doctor and I try to make it as painless for myself as possible by providing very detailed information to them. I spent the hour before my appointment typing out details of all my medications, past surgeries, emergency contacts, and everything I thought they might need. When I arrived at the office and the standard new patient forms were presented to me, I was happy to be able to only have to write the words "see attached." The nurse and the doctor were impressed that I'd take time to give them everything they needed. I explained that my history of working for medical doctors had given me inside information as to what doctors needed to know. I think the doctor liked that and he enjoyed not having to explain each bit of medical terminology to me as he proceeded to examine and diagnose me.
His immediate diagnosis was Pericarditis, an inflammation to the lining of the Pericardium. Dr. Mitchell felt like it had been caused by the excessive amounts of radiation given to my chest wall. Although he felt sure his diagnosis was on point, he wanted to rule out any other issues and scheduled an Echocardiogram and stress test for the 14th of October. I've had both of these tests in the past and know what to expect. I was thankful that everyone in Dr. Mitchell's office was kind and compassionate. The nurse was as sweet as she could be and made sure to treat me with dignity. The receptionist was attentive and helpful. It makes a huge difference when you know you're not just a number or a statistic.
Perhaps after I complete my radiation treatments and get through all of these tests, I'll be able to start living again. I can't wait to drive up to Cloudland Canyon and do some hiking. I love walking around the upper rim of the canyon and looking down into the sea of endless fall color on the trees. As we journey down into the canyon floor, I love hearing the sound of rushing water from a nearby waterfall. I can't wait to go back again. I hear the canyon calling but it will have to wait just a little while longer...
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
Friday, October 3, 2014
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