It had been a particularly hard day for me. Only a few weeks after my surgery, I was still in the beginning stages of healing. My body was physically sore and I was struggling. One of my children, my daughter, Erin, had come all the way from Texas to be with me...to help care for me after having both of my breasts removed. I was overjoyed that she was here. Her very presence helped reassure me that I wasn't alone.
Throughout the day, I'd been very emotional. Pain has a way of doing that to you, especially when you can't control it. I tried my best to hide my feelings from my husband and my daughter, but try as I might, the tears kept coming. I was overwhelmed at the realization that I'd just had both of my breasts removed. I felt so unlovely...no longer a real woman. Although I tried not to dwell on my current situation, the reality was ever present. I couldn't help but look down at my chest and see nothing but deep indentions where my breasts used to me. The hideous scars would be constant reminders of cancer's attempt to destroy me.
Phil, Erin, and I had been sitting in the living room talking. The television was on and we'd focus on it for a few minutes and then engage in more conversation. We talked about Erin's family and how they were doing, we talked about upcoming doctor's visits...we bounced from subject to subject. Since we didn't get to see Erin but once or maybe twice a year, if we were lucky, so we were trying to catch up on a year's worth of detail in a short amount of time. Even with all the chit chat, I think Erin could tell I was having a hard time that day.
It was a beautiful, hot, sunny Georgia afternoon. We were thankful to be inside in the cool air conditioning. Just going out for a few minutes would cause one to sweat profusely. Glancing out the window, my husband noticed that it began to rain, and rain extremely hard. Though it was raining, the sun was shining brilliantly. Phil said, "there's probably a rainbow out there somewhere." At that moment, Erin got up to go out and look with Phil right behind her. I had stayed in my recliner. I was hurting too badly to move. With pillows tucked under both armpits, I had finally gotten a little ease from the pain. Suddenly, the front door burst open and they excitedly called for me to come. Very carefully, I rose from the recliner and went to the front door.
There in the middle of our front yard was a perfect rainbow! It stretched from one end of our yard to the other, we could see both ends of it touching the ground. The rain had stopped and as we looked around, there was no other rainbow in the sky except right in our front yard. At the very sight of it, I became so overcome with emotion that I began to bawl. It was a sign! A sign specifically given to me from God. Now some of you might think it was just a coincidence of the hot, summer sun and the quick passing rain, but I know better. You see, I had been seeking God for days. Asking Him to give me some indication that I was going to be okay...that I was going to get through this terrible, unexpected ordeal...that I would live. This rainbow, in my front yard, was confirmation from God that He had heard my prayer and had already answered it. In my heart, I heard a verse from the Bible - Jeremiah 30:17, "I will restore you to health and heal your wounds." A promise....a sign....all for me!
Quickly, I ran back inside to get my camera. Yes, I ran! Even with my sore, aching body...I wanted to make sure and capture this moment so I'd never forget it. I took shot after shot, hoping to get the perfect one. The rainbow was beautiful and brilliant. I had no idea whether or not it would show up on film. My rainbow wasn't in the sky above me, it was right there amid the trees and grass in front of me!
The rainbow lasted only about ten or fifteen minutes. I think God allowed it to be there just long enough for us to see it and understand why He'd put it there. We all stood and stared at it until it gently and quietly faded away. When it was gone, I dropped my camera into the chair next to me on the front porch and collapsed into my husband's strong arms sobbing. Through tear filled eyes, Erin said, "Mama, that rainbow was just for you." I shook my head but couldn't speak. We had all three witnessed God's symbol of promise that day. As I just wrote that last sentence, something just came to me...there were three of us! Three is a very significant number in God's eyes. (here are some examples of the importance of the number three)-
- Three - Signifies completion or perfection, and unity. Three is the number of Persons in the Trinity.
- Many significant events in the Bible happened "on the third day" (Hosea 6:2).
- Jonah spent three days and three nights in the belly of the fish (Matthew 12:40).
- Jesus' earthly ministry lasted three years (Luke 13:7).
Jesus answered them, "Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up." John 2:19
I don't think any of us will ever forget that day. It is forever etched in our memories. On my camera SD card, I have a permanent record of the rainbow however, the digital photograph didn't capture the stunning beauty of the real thing...and I think God meant to keep it that way! He had given the sign of the rainbow, a sign of His marvelous promise, for only our eyes to see. He had not meant it to be photographed.
Today, when I look at that captured image on my computer, I can barely see the faint colors of the rainbow in my front yard...but in my mind, they are as sharp and brilliant as they were on that hot summer day. Phil, Erin, and I were all amazed at what God did and we consider it our own personal miracle. Many people think that God doesn't hear prayer and that He doesn't answer in tangible ways...but we know differently! For those who want to be skeptical, you can think that rainbow was nothing other than misty rays of sunlight enhanced by droplets of water, but to us it was an answered prayer.
I wanted to share this with you today in hopes it would speak to your heart. You may be going through a difficult time right now yourself and you may have been praying for God to answer your heartfelt prayers. You may even be asking for Him to give you a sign or some indication that things are going to be all right. Don't give up hope! You may not get your own personal rainbow, but God will answer you in His perfect timing and in His perfect way. All you have to do is be patient and wait.
I'm putting the photograph of my rainbow on this page. You'll have to look hard to see it, but it's definitely there. Like I said earlier, I don't think it was meant to be photographed, but being an avid photographer, I couldn't help but take this shot. I wanted to be reminded of God's faithfulness so I'd never forget that day. His promises are very real and He doesn't make them lightly. No, my body will never been the same on the outside, but He has promised to heal and restore me on the inside. Yes, cancer is a very real part of my life but I can't change that but I have a God that has promised me it's going to be okay and I know I can trust Him....afterall, He's give me a sign!
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
