Breast cancer is like gardening!

I'm not much of a gardener, I'll admit. Oh, I love a beautiful yard and spend hours a day wishing I had one, but, I don't. Yard work takes time and lots of energy. I haven't had much of either lately. But I do subscribe to Better Homes and Gardens. I do peruse the magazine and dream of what my yard could look like. I do enjoy seeing homes with thick green grass, shrubs, and flowers planted in perfect order.

As I sit at my desk, I can see our front yard from my window. Everything is lush and green at first glance, but as I look closer, I see not only the Bermuda grass but lots and lots of weeds! How did they get there? When we first bought our house, just a little over a year ago, the Bermuda grass was perfect, not one single weed dotted the lawn. Now, there are almost more weeds than Bermuda grass and I'll admit, I haven't felt like going out to weed. I did Google how to take care of Bermuda grass, because I had no idea what it required, and I found out it's important to biannually apply both fertilizer and a weed killer. The trouble with weeds is they're pretty invasive. If left unchecked, one little weed can take hold and ruin a perfectly good yard in just a small amount of time. And that's what happened to our yard.

The more I look at the weeds, the more they bother me. It would take a lot of time to get out there on my hands and knees and pull them up, but, on the other hand, an application of Weed and Feed wouldn't take more than an hour using a lawn spreader.

Those pesky weeds! The more I think about them, the more I want to rip them up. Have you ever tried pulling up weeds by hand? Some of them are pretty stubborn! Their roots are like little tentacles spreading far and wide. They seem to have a death grip on the soil and take a lot of muscle to dig out. Heaven forbid if you pull and don't get the roots! Those rotten little suckers will come right back again and with a vengeance.

When I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma last year, I asked the doctor exactly what that meant. She explained that the cancer started inside a milk duct in my breast and then began to spread outside the milk duct into the breast tissue. It didn't stop there! It kept on going and spread to my lymph nodes. My cancer was like a pesky weed! It had taken root and spread out tentacles of destruction. The only way to eradicate it was through surgery. So, that's exactly what I did. I allowed the surgeon to lop off my boobs, just like you'd lop of broken tree limbs but not quite. And when she injected the radioactive blue dye into my breast tissue, it lit up my lymph nodes like a Christmas tree. The cancer had traveled and made a home there. Instead of forcibly pulling at the roots of the metastasis, the surgeon completely cut out and removed the lymph nodes. The problem was eliminated!

So if the problem was eliminated, why do I have a constant fear of recurrence? Just like the pesky weeds in my lawn keep coming back even after we pull them up, I have a constant dread that one day, the cancer is going to rear its ugly head again somewhere else in my body. It didn't help that my breast surgeon made me feel guilty about not taking the chemo meds but that was my choice. I didn't want to put poison into my body. I chose to go a more natural route. And when we get ready to take out those stinkin' weeds, I'll try to find a natural solution instead of pouring harmful chemicals onto the grass.

Cancer, they say, is the gift that keeps on giving and I believe that statement to be true. It continues to give daily challenges. Not all of the challenges are bad, but some of them are worse than others. Like a lawn full of weeds, if I give up and do nothing, the weeds win! They take over and kill out the grass. But if I choose to fight them, I can take them out one by one. Yes, a new one might pop up here and there but if I'm diligent, I can handle it. That's the attitude I have to take toward this "dumb, stupid, breast cancer" too.

If I ever face another metastasis in my body, I'll do a lot of research to find out the best way to deal with it. My doctors will advise me according to their expertise. I hope that day never comes, but I'm going to keep my eyes peeled and my self exams constant. If I find anything suspicious, I'll report it right away.

Breast cancer is like gardening. Our bodies require constant love and attention. They need to be cared for and treated well, just like a well manicured lawn. One day, maybe my lawn will be devoid of chickweed and sedge. I'd love for people to ride by oohing and ahhing over my bright, green grass and hopefully the weeds, just like the cancer in my body, will be non-existent.  That's my plan anyway.

©bonnie annis all rights reserved

..."we so often live our blessings without ever acknowledging them. Perhaps the gift of losing one’s health is the gratitude it can grow for the simple functions of life." ~ Kara Tippetts