The nurse came to do vital signs and I had to remind her I can't have blood pressures taken on my arms (because of the lymph node removals.) She smiled reassuring me it wasn't a problem as she proceeded to take my blood pressure on my left calf. Next, the P.A. came in and gathered family history information. She entered everything into the computer and when she had finished, she went to get the doctor.
Dr. Feinstein was fairly young in my eyes...probably late thirties to early forties. This was our first meeting so I had no idea what his bedside manner would be like. I was surprised when he entered the room and hopped right up on the examination table. He sat there swinging his legs as he began talking to me. He was so close to my face, I felt like I had to lean back a little just to focus my eyes on him! After the usual pleasantries, he got down to business.
The doctor began with the results from the Oncotype DX test. He began telling me how the test was performed and the history behind it. He told me what the results would indicate and how various factors contributed to the type of care recommended. He spoke in a low, pleasant, unhurried tone as the P.A. was busily typing information in the computer. He was very attentive to me and my daughter and continually asked if we had any questions. After an hour of medical information, he asked again, if I had any questions. This time I spoke up. "Yes, I just want to know if I need to have chemotherapy or not." He referred back to the Oncotype DX test and told me my recurrence rate was 7 out of 100. I asked what that meant and he said, "if you were my wife or one of my relatives, I would recommend you NOT do chemotherapy because with all the side effects from the various drugs, you have to weigh whether doing the treatment and experiencing the horrible side effects is really worth it; or whether it is more beneficial to just do radiation and anti hormone therapy." I was so relieved to hear him say that! I asked him again if what he was saying was NO CHEMO, and he said, "yes, no chemo." At that very moment, I glanced down at the printed copy of the Oncotype DX test that he'd given me. The number 7 just about leapt off the page. As I was staring at it, it was as if I heard God say to my spirit, 7 is the number of completion, this phase is done. Tears welled up in my eyes and then, the dream I'd had yesterday flashed before me! The room full of bald headed women and me, with a full head of hair! YES!!! God had given me a premonition of today's test results! He was showing me that indeed, I would not need chemotherapy!
I barely heard the doctor as he continued talking. I was ecstatic! I wanted to leap for joy! I had been so worried and so afraid of having to go through the horrors of chemotherapy. I have friends who've already been through that rough time and they've all told me the side effects are almost unbearable. I had also worried that I wouldn't have had anyone to transport me to and from treatments...all that worrying for naught!
Dr. Feinstein told me that I would have to go through radiation treatments and take an aromatase inhibitor for the next 5 years. He explained that with my medical history, age, past surgeries, etc. that he would not recommend I be put on Tamoxifen. The aromatase inhibitors can cause severe osteoporisis or osteopenia so I will have to have a bone scan before starting treatment and then again every two years to make sure I'm not suffering bone loss. There are other side effects too, such as hot flashes, bone and joint pain, etc. He said we can address those as they come up. Dr. Feinstein sent me to the lab to have some blood work done and said he'd see me after my radiation treatments were complete.
After leaving his office, I was so happy I wanted to dance but do you know what I did...I went straight into the bathroom and bawled my eyes out! I was so grateful to God for His mercy. I was so relieved I would not have to endure chemotherapy!
In Psalm 57:1-2, the Bible says "Be merciful and gracious to me, O God, be merciful and gracious to me, for my soul takes refuge and finds shelter and confidence in You; yes, in the shadow of Your wings will I take refuge and be confident until calamities and destructive storms are passed.
2 I will cry to God Most High, Who performs on my behalf and rewards me [Who brings to pass His purposes for me and surely completes them]!" God has been so good to me! Yes, I had Breast Cancer, and yes, I still have a long road of recovery ahead of me, but God saw fit to use this to teach me, once again, that He is in control and I am not! Do I think God rewarded me for being diligent in my faith during this time....YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! Do I think God has answered the prayers of my family and friends who've lifted me up these past few weeks as I've gone through surgery and recovery...I CERTAINLY DO! I know I serve a mighty God! No matter what comes my way, He is always going to be right there with me. He will guide me through the storms of life and hide me under His wings. I can't tell you how thankful I am today to know that finally, I can say I am a Breast Cancer Survivor and now I'm going to be a Breast Cancer Thriver! My life is going to be a living, breathing testimony for God. I want everyone to know what He's done for me. I want people to understand that yes, we will continually have trials and tribulations here on earth but with God, all things are possible. We have HOPE and in the famous words of Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
