Out of the frying pan and into the fire

This is my life

For the past two weeks, I've been a blubbering mess. Anything and nothing have set me into a tailspin. I've been so depressed and hopeless. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm never like that. Finally, after doing a lot of internet research, I discovered the medication I was on, Arimidex, was the culprit. It seems Arimidex is a chemotheraphy drug. I had no idea. I knew it was an antihormone therapy drug, but didn't know it was a chemo drug. Realizing that I had to take charge of my life and be my own advocate, I called my Oncologist today.

When I called in to Dr. Feinstein's office, I went through all the prompts in order to leave a message on the nurse's line. Around 11:00 a.m. I received a call back. The nurse kindly explained that the doctor was "out of pocket" which I took to mean "he's out of the office for the Thanksgiving holidays." She assured me that she would email him and when he replied she'd be in touch. So I waited. Around 4:00 p.m. the nurse called back. She said I was to stop taking the Arimidex immediately (which I had already decided to do earlier this morning). Dr. Feinstein said it would take about 4 weeks for the medicine to get out of my system and then he wanted me to start taking Tamoxifen, which is the old tried and true cancer medication. I wasn't happy to hear I'll have to go from one medication to another, but hopefully I won't have the nasty side effects with the other drug.

I've felt like a "space cadet" all day. My mind has been so foggy. I've started one project only to leave it and start doing something in another room for an hour or two before remembering what I was supposed to be doing in the first place. I've jumped from one thing to another all day. I did remember to text a few folks my apologies for the lapse in sanity over the past few weeks. Hopefully they'll be understanding and forgive me. After all, I did have a little "chemo brain" and wasn't in total control of my thoughts and actions. 

For years people with cancer have worried about, joked about, and been frustrated by the mental cloudiness they sometimes notice before, during, and after cancer treatment. Even though its exact cause isn’t always known, and it can happen at any time during cancer, this mental fog is commonly called chemo brain. Patients have been aware of this problem for some time, but only recently have studies been done that could help to explain it. Doctors have known for years that radiation treatment to the brain can cause thinking and memory problems. Recently, they have found that chemotherapy is linked to some of the same kinds of problems. Research shows that some cancer drugs can cause certain kinds of changes in the brain. But it also shows that chemo and radiation aren’t the only things that can cause thinking and memory problems in people with cancer. Though the brain usually recovers over time, the sometimes vague yet distressing mental changes cancer patients notice are real, not imagined. They might last a short time, or they might go on for years. These changes can make people unable to go back to their school, work, or social activities, or make it so that it takes a lot of mental effort to do so. Chemo brain affects everyday life for many people, and more research is needed to help prevent and cope with it. 

What is chemo brain?

• Forgetting things that they usually have no trouble recalling (memory lapses)
• Trouble concentrating (they can’t focus on what they’re doing, have a short attention span, may “space out”)
• Trouble remembering details like names, dates, and sometimes larger events
• Trouble multi-tasking, like answering the phone while cooking, without losing track of one task (they are less able to do more than one thing at a time)
• Taking longer to finish things (disorganized, slower thinking and processing)
• Trouble remembering common words (unable to find the right words to finish a sentence)

For most people, brain effects happen quickly and only last a short time. Others have long-term mental changes. Usually the changes that patients notice are very subtle, and others around them might not even notice any changes at all. Still, the people who are having problems are well aware of the differences in their thinking. Many people don’t tell their cancer care team about this problem until it affects their everyday life. This "chemo brain" has definitely affected my life and that's why I chose to call my doctor today. I'll be glad when I begin feeling more like myself and I can think clearly again.

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