Did you know that researchers are investigating whether this feel-good energy, the kind we experience during gentle touch, has an impact on our well-being. They have discovered when we experience friendly, affectionate touch, our bodies release Oxytocin. Oxytocin is sometimes called the love hormone. This hormone can help lower blood pressure, decrease the stress-related hormone Cortisol and increasing pain tolerance.
One of my favorite ways to show love to my family was through the power of physical touch. In my office, I set up a massage table. Beside it, I placed a portable CD player and some massage oils. Whenever my husband or children were feeling stressed, I'd offer to give them a massage. Quietly I would set up my room by dimming the light or closing the blinds. I'd put some soft instrumental music into the CD player and warm the massage oils. I wanted their experience to be as pleasant as possible.
When I began to massage my first "client," I could feel the tension and stress in the muscles. I always began with a soft, gentle touch and then used more firm pressure as I went along. I could see the muscles begin to lengthen and stretch as they were gently massaged. Talking in low, soothing tones, I would ask for guidance in problem areas. After about an hour, I had completed the massage and my "client" was either sound asleep or so relaxed he/she could hardly move off the table. I enjoyed giving the gift of my touch to them but I never received a massage in return.
After my surgery, I was unable to give massages any longer due to the Lymphedema in my arms so I gave my massage table away. The kids were disappointed and I was too. No longer would I be able to give them free stress relieving massages. They'd have to go elsewhere. And as I was healing from surgery, I began to realize how much my body ached...and then, it dawned on me! I had never even had a massage myself!
While I was healing, my family members knew to be very gentle with me. Hugs, when given, were extremely light - barely even felt. My body longed for physical touch but while my surgical scars were mending, I didn't receive any.
The first time I felt like having a back rub was about 6 months after surgery. The muscles in my back were screaming out in agony and I begged my husband for a mini massage. He was so afraid he was going to hurt me. Gently, he applied lotion between my shoulder blades. As he began smoothing the lotion into my skin, I began to cry. Immediately, he asked, "am I hurting you?" I shook my head, no, as he continued to work. I explained to him that I was crying because the physical touch felt so soothing and it had been so long since I'd had anyone touch me at all. It was at that point that I realized how very powerful touch can be.
Studies have been done on infants who were deprived of physical touch. Those infants became
lonely, isolated and troublesome children. This lack of physical affection often led to emotional disturbances, hyperactivity, aggressive behavior
and conduct disorder problems while infants who received daily touch thrived. There have also been studies performed on the elderly and infirm. The same types of behaviors were noted in the elderly as in the deprived infants. Hospitals and nursing homes where the older patients did not receive regular physical touch withdrew, isolated themselves, or became aggressive.
AT&T used to have a slogan, "reach out and touch someone." While their catchy slogan seems to indicate physical touch, instead, it was referring to communication via telephone. Their slogan, is an important one with regard to physical touch too! Our bodies desire physical touch. Have you ever been standing face to face with someone, while having a nice conversation, and the person lightly reached out and touched your arm? What did you do? Did you recoil in disgust? Did you do nothing and continue talking? The way you responded speaks volumes about your reaction to touch.
There are both good and bad touches in our world today. Physical and sexual abuse are forms of bad touches. But the touches our bodies crave are those touches that are filled with love and concern....caring touches. Are you a touch-y feel-y kind of person? Do you find yourself placing your hand on someone's shoulder as you console them? Do you extend your hand in greeting? Explore adding more touch to your day. You can do this by reaching out to friends and family members as you talk or greet each other. If you feel comfortable, add a little touch to the arm or a short hug as you first see them. Hold your grandchildren in your lap or snuggle close while you read together. Hold hands or walk arm in arm with the one you love — it all makes such a difference.
There is healing power in touch...it's a kind of magical power. God has given us the desire to touch and be touched. To those experiencing physical pain, a light, gentle touch can often convey so much without the addition of words. I know for myself, physical touch is one of my love languages. It's one of the ways I receive and express love to others.
When extending the gift of touch to someone with cancer, be aware that many times their bodies are hypersensitive. This hypersensitivity can come from cancer treatments like chemotherapy or radiation. Be attentive to what they say as well as to what you observe. It is best to ask before touching. The patient may have fresh scars or burns from radiation. Being sensitive to their physical and emotional needs, you can discern whether physical touch would be welcomed or best left to a family member's attentive hands. Many cancer wellness centers offer healing touch therapy. A licensed massage therapist has been specifically trained in dealing with cancer patients and their physical limitations. Specific treatments for manual lymphatic drainage and other specialized massage techniques are best left to the professionals.
Remember, physical touch can be a blessing when shared at the proper time. Light, gentle touches are best. Don't be afraid to touch, but if in doubt, as permission first!
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