Faux pas

I love foreign languages! Some of them sound so beautiful, especially the French language, but for some reason, when I was in highschool, I opted to take Spanish. Most of my friends were taking Spanish, so I took Spanish, too. We had a blast in class with our teacher, Mrs. O'Dali Morales.

Mrs. Morales was a short, wide, brown, woman with a thick, heavy, Hispanic accent. She didn't like tom foolery in her classroom but we always loved to cut up in there. I remember one day we were learning to roll our r's and everyone in the class was busy tickling the roof of their mouths with their tongues to produce the perfect "r" sound. Mrs. Morales stomped her foot and folded her arms. She shouted, "SILENCIO INMEDIATAMENTE POR FAVOR!" She wanted us to be quiet and wanted us to do it immediately. We stopped our whirring tongues and became very still. Mrs. Morales was not happy. We'd crossed the line.

While we were busy learning with Mrs. Morales, some of my other friends were studying French. French was beautiful language and seemed so romantic. But sometimes, as we'd listen outside the classroom door, it sounded like the students were talking with gravel in their mouths. I just didn't understand French. Spanish made more sense to me. It was very close to the English language and very easy to learn. I did try to learn a few phrases from my friends and today, the title of my blog contains one I'll expound on shortly.

About ten years ago, I had the opportunity to work for an ex Catholic priest. Every once in a while, he'd twine Latin phrases into our conversations. I wasn't very familiar with Latin and always asked him what each phrase meant. There was one in particular that he used often, "mea culpa." When I asked him what it meant, he said it meant "I screwed up...or through no one's fault but my own." That phrase came to mine today.

This morning, I got up bright and early. I had an appointment with my oncologist at 11:00 a.m. Every three months, I go to have blood work done and while I'm there, he does a checkup. He always asks how I'm doing and if I have any new symptoms. I had several things I needed to share with him today, so I looked forward to going and getting some answers.

It was a beautiful day! The air was crisp and the leaves were just starting to turn into beautiful shades of Autumn color. As I headed down my driveway, I hoped the weather would be this perfect all weekend.

I arrived at the medical complex next to the hospital and since I'd arrived a little early, I sat in the car talking on my cellphone to one of my daughters. We had a nice chat and then I noticed it was almost 11:00 a.m. so I ended the call and went inside.

In the lobby, a large, black woman was standing by the directory. She stopped me and asked if I could help her and then she said something. I couldn't understand her because of a thick accent, which was apparently Jamaican, so I asked her to repeat herself. She said the same words again and I still couldn't understand her. I could tell she was frustrated and I really was trying to help her, there was just a communication issue. She reached up and tapped her heart and said the words again. Ahhh, I finally could grasp what she was trying to tell me. She was hunting the cardiologist's office. I quickly found it on the directory and told her where to go. I smiled at her and waved, saying "have a nice day!"

The short elevator ride to the third floor dropped me off just outside Dr. F's office. I took a minute to stop by the restroom and then walked up to the counter to sign in. The receptionist asked my name. She looked at her computer and then up at me and said, "Mrs. Annis. We have you down for the 29th. We called and left you a message, did you not get it?" I could feel my cheeks begin to turn red as I explained that I had not received the message. She apologized and said the doctor had her reschedule several appointments due to an emergency situation. I felt so dumb. This was the second time in 6 months that I'd committed the blunder of coming to his office on the wrong day.

In my head I was shouting, MEA CULPA, MEA CULPA!!! What a terrible faux pas! I felt MUY ESTUPIDO right about then! (And I'm sure you can guess what that means...but if you can't, it means "very stupid" in Spanish.)

I nodded to the nurse as I walked out of the office. She was kind and understood my embarrassment. She even apologized at my having not received the message and motioned for me to wait a moment so she could check the phone number they had on file for me before I left.

A little snipped from one of my childhood TV shows, Hogan's Heroes, popped into my brain as I walked quickly to my car. Colonel Klink was shouting at Sargent Shultz in German as he waved his arms...."DUMMKOPH!" (That means stupid person or blockhead.)

I'll admit, I did feel a little foolish and my love of languages waned a little this afternoon. It's pretty bad when you beat yourself up for making a mistake and you don't even do it in your own language! Oh well. LO SIENTO (that means "I'm sorry" in Spanish.) At least I feel a little cultured in my blundering and if I can't laugh at myself when I screw up then I must be LAME. (And that's English slang for just plain stupid.)

Don't you feel dumb - Major Payne

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