Remembering brings blessing

Alberta and I
(She's a dear sweet friend and encourager)

8 months ago, I'd just had both breasts removed along with 6 lymph nodes. I was home recovering and in a great deal of pain. I felt like I'd been hit by a MACK truck and left on the side of the road for dead. I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. But that was then and this is now.

In those long months that have passed since my surgery, the feelings of hopelessness and pain have all but disappeared. I've allowed the memory of all that God's done to become clouded just a bit and today, I was reminded that I need to focus on remembering.

It hasn't been that long ago, so the wonderful things He's done in my life should still be very fresh and new... but isn't it funny how Satan loves to steal our joy by hazing over those important times in our lives where God has done amazing things?

There's a verse in the Bible in the book of Psalms that says, "Then they believed His words; they sang His praise. They soon forgot His works." How easy it is for new believers to trust...to get on the spiritual band wagon...to be filled with praise when things are going great...to marvel at the awesomeness of God, but let the times get hard and those songs of praise die down in a hurry. Sometimes when the "new" wears off, just like these people in the Bible, we become complacent. We forget. A leanness enters our soul.

In the midst of trial or suffering, I'm always bold enough to pray and ask God for what I need. I'm brave in my faith and in my expectations. But sometimes, after He's answered my prayer and the crisis is over, I slowly begin to forget. My prayers become less adventurous and less brave. I begin to pray for smaller things instead of greater things. It's not that my faith has become weak, it's just that I've forgotten the many blessings He's given me.

Today, I asked God to quicken my memory. To help me remember things He's done for me over the past 8 months. It's important to me to refresh my thoughts and keep His great blessings at the forefront of my mind. And so, I thought it would be helpful to make a list as He reminded me of ways He'd been faithful to me:

• In May, God allowed me to find the mass in my breast as I was showering. He could have allowed it to remain hidden and for it to have been years before it was discovered, but His timing is always perfect in every thing. 
• We were busy moving so I didn't have time to focus on the mass, this was a brief respite from the initial panic I felt on the day I found the mass. I think this was His way of protecting my heart until I was ready to handle the real news. 
• When things slowed down and we were settled, He prompted me to find a doctor and get it checked. He did not let me forget about it. Day after day, I felt Him reminding me, "you need to get this checked...you really need to get this checked." 
• He led me to an OB/GYN who immediately sent me for tests. The doctor originally thought it was just a fluid filled cyst but she was diligent and ordered diagnostic mammograms, an ultrasound, and core needle biopsies immediately. I know God had imparted that wisdom to her in order to save my life. 
• He knew I would be fearful and sent one of my daughters to accompany me to the procedures. He used her to remind me of His love. I was never alone, even when I couldn't see someone with "skin" on. 
• When I needed to find a surgeon, He led me to the very best breast surgeon in our area. She was very attentive and kind. She never made me feel rushed and spent hours discussing in detail exactly what she was planning to do.
• Through a string of amazing events, God provided the resources for my husband and I to go to the beach so I could process everything that was happening to me. During our time there, God spoke to my heart in such a tender, loving way. He used His beauty in nature to show me that in every tiny detail, He is present. 
• During surgery, my doctor was able to remove the entire mass and found only one lymph node that was cancerous. Although I had 6 lymph nodes removed, only one was malignant. God gave my surgeon the wisdom to check my lymph nodes. Had she not done that, the spreading cancer may have gone undetected and traveled to various organs in my body.
• As I was healing, God provided the means for my oldest daughter to come and be with me. She was a great source of encouragement and help. God knew I would need her so He laid it on her heart to plan on coming. Her husband and children were so gracious to part with her and, she was pregnant to boot!
• Through the internet, on a Facebook Breast Cancer site, I made a new friend who became my mentor. She traveled over an hour and a half to visit me. She brought a special wedge pillow and a padded seat belt strap for me as she knew I'd need them. God spoke to her heart and gave her the courage to come visit a total stranger. I'm so thankful He did!
• God prompted family and friends to call, write letters, send cards and gifts and to lift me up in prayer. Those little symbols of love always arrived at the perfect time. I know God orchestrated those gifts just for me.
• God has used my sweet husband to minister His love to me throughout this entire journey. He has gifted him with patience, caring, and understanding. He has laughed with me, cried with me, prayed with me and just loved me. He is a wonderful example of God's tender loving care.
• God knew, even before we moved to this area, that I would experience cancer. The radiation oncology clinic where I'd need treatments is very close to our house...that wasn't a coincidence because right after we'd first moved here, my husband and I were driving around the area to get familiar with it. As we passed the radiation oncology clinic, I heard God speak to my heart and say, "You'll be going there soon." Months before I would be diagnosed, He forewarned me. He knows I don't do well with surprises. I'm so thankful He speaks to me in that still small voice and prepares me for the hard things that come my way.
• When I started radiation, God allowed me to meet 2 women who became my cheerleaders. They were going through treatment too, but they helped me know what to expect. Every morning, as I arrived at the clinic, they'd great me. One of them sat and talked to me as I was preparing to have treatment and the other talked to me on the way out. One was an elderly lady with cancer of the nose and the other was a woman about my mother's age who also had breast cancer. They looked after me like a mother hen watches after her chicks. God planted them there at the exact moment in time I needed them! 
• As the months have passed, God has allowed me time alone to draw closer and closer to Him. Each day is sweeter than the one before as He continues to teach me and allow me to see more deeply into His heart. 
• God led me to my Oncologist and to the Cancer Wellness Center where I can take part in free art therapy lessons, writing programs, cooking or exercise programs. God knew I would need someone I could trust. My doctor is Jewish and very soft spoken. He's gentle and caring. God knew I'd need someone who would be understanding and kind. The classes at the wellness center provide a way for me to get out and meet people. Once again, God knew I didn't need to be alone and He made provision for me. 

I could go on and on about the things He's done to show me He's never left me alone throughout this trial but I won't. He's used this time of testing to continually teach me and prepare me. I don't know yet what He's preparing me for, but I'm sure He'll reveal it to me soon. I don't think God ever allows you to go through a trial or time of testing without a purpose behind it. Perhaps He's going to use me to minister to others in some way. It will be interesting to see what the future holds.

Has God done amazing things in your life? Have you allowed the newness of it to wear off? Why not stop and take time to remember all that He's brought you through. Remembering brings blessing...the blessing of understanding that you are unique and special to God. You are precious to Him. He loves you so much more than you will ever know. Don't forget the times He's been right by your side when you needed Him most...when He's answered prayers you've cried in the dark...when He's provided for your needs when you least expected it. Let's give Him praise where praise is due! Remember.

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