To the best of my memory, our conversation went like this:
"I have a gift for you, Bonnie, do you want to open it now?"
Not sure what I was supposed to do as He handed me the gift, I didn't respond but looked to Him with eyes of concern.
"You must be SURE you want to open this gift, He said."
I replied, "But every gift from you is good and perfect, isn't it?"
He replied, "Yes, but sometimes my gifts are hard."
I held the gift in my hands and wondered whether or not I should open it. I couldn't see the package in my dream but I could feel the weight of it in my hands. Some time passed and I felt it was time to open the gift. As I did, I looked into the box with sadness at what I'd been given. My Father, said comforting words to me and let me know it was okay for me to feel this way...discouraged, challenged, afraid. I felt myself swallow, a huge lump in my throat, as He reminded me that some gifts were hard.
"Your cancer was a gift. It was a gift I specifically chose for you, my dear child."
I held the box at arm's length and looked into His loving eyes. Immediately I felt these words rising up in my spirit, "shall we only accept the good from You and not the bad?"
Without saying a word, I knew I had His approval. I had understood exactly what He wanted me to know, that even though my struggle had been very difficult, God knew what He was doing. He had handpicked this gift for me.
I woke up feeling relieved. There was much more to the dream but I don't feel at liberty to share those parts because they are between my Father and I. I do know He allowed me to experience this dream so I could understand how much He loves me and how He chooses exactly the things He knows we need in our lives to perfect us and form us into His image. Perhaps there's something hard He's given you to deal with in your life right now. If so, please know that He has handpicked your challenge for your benefit. Nothing comes into our lives without passing through God's hands first. He allows things to touch our lives through either His perfect will or His permissive will. When we can learn to see things from this perspective, we can more easily understand that all God's gifts, both the good and the bad, are beneficial for us.
These two Scriptures spoke to my heart and helped clarify my dream.
"It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I might learn Your statutes."
Psalm 119:71 Amplified Bible
The Bible says that God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. With that being said, I know that what was spoken thousands of years ago is still relevant for today. I still believe in miracles. I believe God has the power to would and to heal. I have been wounded and now I await His perfect timing for my complete healing. I know He is able and I don't mind waiting until I receive the gift of His perfect and complete healing in my life.
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