The first thing I had to do when I was diagnosed with cancer was to accept it.Whether or not I wanted to have it, I did. There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to change the fact so I needed to just accept it and go forward. By choosing to accept the facts, I could choose how I would react to them too. I chose to be as positive as I could.
Someone once said that important life lessons don't come from easy paths but from the struggles we go through. Those struggles help us see and understand what we're made of and also help us learn more about our own character. Difficult times help us learn to love more, to appreciate more, and help us become more resilient.
Choosing to be happy even during times that are tough has allowed me to see things differently. I can find light in dark places. I can find laughter in the midst of sadness. I can find joy in the middle of frustration. I won't allow cancer to dictate how I respond to things. I don't want to expend any more energy than absolutely necessary focusing on cancer or the struggles it has brought into my life. I have the power to silence the screaming voice of cancer that daily reminds me that things aren't quite the way I'd like them to be right now. If I allowed myself to listen to the negativity of the voice of cancer, I would find myself falling into a pit of dark despair. Negativity tears down...destroys...imprisons. I can't go there.
Perhaps I am a perpetual optimist. I won't be unrealistic and say that more people are optimistic than pessimistic because I know that is not the case in today's world. Those who choose to rise above their circumstances and remain positive are blessed indeed. They are blessed with an inner strength that usually comes from a deep faith in God. People who focus on the negative spend their lives dwelling on the bad instead of looking for the good. They are pessimistic to their very core, even when blessings cross their paths on a daily basis, they choose not to see.
I have chosen to see my journey as a life lesson. My response to this lesson will be determined by my outlook and I choose to remain positive. For me, it takes too much effort to be negative. It's so much easier to look for the good in every situation than to find the negatives! I want my life to be an example of a strong faith in God. I want to be found faithful on this journey. I have purposely begun to keep a gratitude journal and in it, I record daily blessings. By doing this, I am forced to focus more on the positive things God brings into my life. By writing down even the smallest things I'm thankful for, I see God's hand working in my life every single day. Nothing is coincidental. Everything is according to His plan. He provides joy to each of us, we just have to train ourselves to look for it and find it.
It isn't always easy to be happy. Sometimes I have to purpose in my heart to find joy. Often, when I am physically hurting, I don't feel like smiling or being joyful...but I do it anyway. In the grand scheme of things, there are so many people who are worse off than I am! I have so much to be thankful for and I find joy in counting my blessings. Yes, I have cancer and yes it is the biggest challenge I've faced in my life to date but...I can still see and hear and think and move. I can still find reasons to love, reasons to hope, reasons to live. I won't give up and I won't give in.
Happiness comes from the heart and my heart is filled with the love of Christ. How can I be sad, angry, and depressed when I have so much to be thankful for every single day? I won't allow cancer to have control over my emotions. I will continue to look for the silver linings on the cloudy days. I choose happiness!
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