Say yes to the dress

I have a wedding to go to today and it will be the first "real" public event I've been to since my surgery. If I had my way, I'd choose not to go but since this is family, I will make myself attend. I have no idea what is appropriate to wear to an afternoon wedding and I have no idea what outfits in my closet might make me look less atrocious than I currently do, but I have to find something.

Entering my walk in closet, I see a wide range of clothing. There are suits and dresses I used to wear when I was working full time in a church office. They are very traditional and modest. Then there are my casual clothes - jeans and tshirts I wear on a daily basis. They are comfortable and familiar. In a very small section of the closet are my formal clothes - several long dresses for evening weddings. Beaded jackets and long, flowing chiffon skirts hang next to my shiny, glittery, last year's New Year's eve jacket. There are so many colors and textures. I realize immediately that I have way too many clothes.

I begin pulling down a few outfits that I think might work. I stack them on my bed and take off my yoga pants and sweat shirt so I can begin trying things on. The first outfit is a floral dress on a black background and it has a black jacket to match. I slip the dress over my head and realize instantly that this one won't work. The neckline hangs down too, too low in the front with no bosom to aid in keeping it in its proper place. I toss that one to the side. I try on several more outfits. Each one gives me a reason to toss it into the reject pile...sleeves too tight (because of my swollen arms), wrong color, too short, too long, lousy fit, etc. etc. I get discouraged quickly.

As I think about the ideal outfit, I realize I need something that will have a little give to it to accommodate my very large and swollen arms. I need something that doesn't have a low neckline because of my missing boobs. I definitely need a jacket of some sort because I get cold easily. And then, I have a masterful idea. I take the last dress and jacket I tried on. It is a black and white hounds tooth looking print with a bolero type black jacket with tiny black and white piping. When I first tried on the dress, the neckline hung down so low, I knew I could never wear that to a wedding but...what if I turned the dress around and put it on backward???

I slipped the dress over my head and spun it around so the inner tags were at my neck. The dress was much higher now because of the low neckline being shifted to the back of my body. It felt a little strange but it really worked! I looked in the mirror and slipped on the jacket. Yes! I think this will work just fine.

To keep others from knowing I'm wearing my dress backward, I'll slip on a statement piece of jewelry. I have a very ornate black and silver necklace that will draw the eye to it instead of to my chest. The small hounds tooth print does a great job of camouflaging my booblessness so I won't stand out like a midget in a freak show.

I begin to hang up the clothes that are piled on my bed. I can't help but be overcome with emotion. There are so many things in my closet that I just can't wear any longer. I guess I'll be going through them and donating them to a charity soon. I wonder if there is a line of clothing made specifically for women who decided to be flat and fabulous and who suffer from Lymphedema. I'll have to check into that. In the meantime, I'm going to start looking for pieces to add to my wardrobe. I think if I can find things with gathers in the front or pretty prints that fool the eye, I'll be satisfied that I look okay.

You may be wondering why I don't just slip on my fake boobs and keep all the clothing I currently have and that is an option but I just don't feel comfortable in them. I can't stand the feel of a bra against my chest wall any more, it's just too irritating. I do wear them when I absolutely must but I will not wear them every day.

I'm glad I had the thought of turning the dress around backward. Now I can definitely say yes to the dress.

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