“When trouble comes to our lives, we can do one of three things: endure it, escape it, or enlist it. If we only endure our trials, then trials become our master, and we have a tendency to become hard and bitter. If we try to escape our trials, then we will probably miss the purposes God wants to achieve in our lives. But if we learn to enlist our trials, they will become our servants instead of our masters and work for us; and God will work all things together for our good and His glory.”
The concept of “enlisting our trials” seems daunting, but if enlisting trials makes them slaves and not masters; I need to figure out how to incorporate that into my life. Trials can be overwhelming at times, especially the trial of Breast Cancer. As I began trying to shift my focus from allowing the trial to master me into me mastering it, I found three things I'd like to share with you:
- God is bigger than any trial I could ever face. This trial was not something that just "happened" to me through fate. God has purposely allowed this into my life and just as easily as He allowed it in, He can remove it if He so chooses.
- God, in His goodness, would never allow me to suffer for no reason. Although I don't understand why He's chosen to allow me to suffer during this time, I can rest assured that it is part of His divine purpose.
- When I am overwhelmed during my trial, I don't have to freak out or panic! I know that God has promised to never let me go. Just knowing that He's got me securely in the center of the palm of His hand and that's the safest place I could ever be.
In a few minutes, I'll be heading out for my 9th radiation treatment. Just getting up and going to the clinic is a trial for me. My energy level has hit an all time low. I'm not used to things keeping me down. I'm not used to taking it easy. Yesterday I was even forced to take a mid day nap, which I rarely ever do. I was surprised I was so physically drained. I felt as if my body was betraying me by showing weakness, but then I realized my body was telling me something. It was saying "you need to rest to allow healthy cells to grow and replenish. The radiation is not only killing the bad cells of cancer, but it's also killing the good, healthy cells." At that point, I realized I could choose to either endure this trial or enlist it. I chose to enlist it. I was not about to allow this exhaustion to overtake me. Yes I would take naps when I needed them but I would also make sure that I did whatever I could to stay active when I was feeling good.
This morning, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. I got dressed and made my bed. I slapped on my headphones and grabbed my IPod. I jumped on the treadmill and got in a 30 minute workout. Yes, I have Cancer, but it doesn't have me! I'm going to keep pushing. I'm going to keep fighting. I've enlisted this Cancer and it's going to obey me instead of me obeying it. It is a minute by minute choice that I have to make because it isn't easy. It would be so much easier to just give up and give in, but the survivor inside me won't allow that. Enduring, escaping, or enlisting...how will you handle your trial today? I hope you choose to enlist it and allow God to use it for whatever purpose He has for allowing it into you life. It won't be easy, but you can do it! It's your choice. Choose well.
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