High places

As a child, I remember watching the Disney movie, Bambi, over and over again. It was filled with emotional scenes that touched my heart. One of the scenes, near the end of the movie, was especially nerve wracking. Bambi is searching for his girlfriend, Faline. When he finds her, she's been chased up a rocky mountain face by a pack of hunting dogs. Bambi fights off the dogs to help her escape and nimbly gets away himself as he sprints higher up the mountain. Throughout the movie, Bambi has faced first one challenge and then another, but he is steadfast and fights to the end.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is found in the book of Habakkuk. This is what it says: "The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!" When I read it for the first time, I wondered what hinds' feet were because I'd never heard that terminology used before. As I researched that term, I was directed to mountain goats. 

Goats were also called hinds in Biblical times. Their feet were swift and sure enabling them to climb upon rocky crags without effort. Mountain goat hooves are specially designed for climbing in steep, rock, and slippery terrain. A close-up look reveals a hard keratinous sheath and a soft embedded pad that enable them to gain purchase on the smallest of granite cracks while simultaneously gripping maximum surface area. 

 Have you ever seen a mountain goat? I have! I was able to see them for the first time several years ago while in Alaska on a mission trip. We took one day of rest and relaxation and drove to Denali National Park for a sightseeing tour. Our team boarded the bus and were amazed within just a few minutes at the variety of wildlife we came upon. The driver of the bus was kind enough to stop periodically for us to "oooh" and "aahhh" over species we'd never seen up close. With camera in hand, I was eager to capture Grizzly Bears, Moose, and other Alaskan wildlife. The scenery was break taking and certainly was one of the highlights of my life. We journeyed deeper into the park and as we rounded the next bend, I could see several white dots upon the mountainside. The bus driver called our attention to the herd of mountain goat ahead of us. He remarked that they were usually found high atop mountain peaks. Quickly I got my camera ready and steadied for a great shot. After taking my photograph, I pulled away from my camera to enjoy watching the goats as they climbed. The mountainside was littered with boulders and rocks of all sizes. I wondered how the goats managed to climb so quickly and so effortlessly over them. Then I was reminded of Habakkuk 3:19 again.

God brought that verse to mind again today. He reminded me the mountain ahead of me, my journey through Cancer, is filled with rocks and boulders. These obstacles however aren't visible like the ones the goats traverse. I have rocks of worry, boulders of fear, despair, hopelessness, and the unknown to conquer.  The mountain goats I saw did not stay near the base of the mountain. They kept climbing higher and higher. Today as I read Habakkuk 3:19 again, God spoke to my heart and said, "I want to take you to the high places. I don't want you to stay where you are in your faith. I want you to go higher."  

In the Bible verse, there are some things that stand out to me. First of all, it says the Lord is my strength, my personal bravery, my invincible army. Those words tell me that when I am afraid and I can't go one step more, God will carry me. He will make sure I get through it! He will strengthen my spirit and give me courage. He will help me be brave! He will be beside me, in front of me, behind me, over me, and under me fighting battles that I am too weak to fight. Secondly, He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]. That means He will make my feet steady and sure. He doesn't want me to stand still and be frozen with fear! He wants me to keep moving! He wants me to valiantly move through the high places of trouble and suffering. He wants me to learn something. He wants to take me higher!

God wants me to know more about His glory and His power. In order to go to the high places, I have to be willing to climb ever upward. In order for my feet not to slip, I need to fix my eyes on Christ trusting that He will lead me over the boulders of hurt and pain. He will make my feet swift and sure. Just like Bambi, sprinting up the mountainside, in an effort to save his beloved Faline, I have a mission ahead of me.

It's becoming more and more clear as I continue to read God's Word and allow Him to speak to my spirit. He wants to show me more of Himself. He's wooing me into the high places. I feel honored that He's chosen me for this journey! What lies ahead? I haven't a clue, but I'm looking forward to finding out. My God is my personal bravery, Habakkuk says, and just knowing that gives me courage to place one foot in front of the other.

I know you've been able to see a change of heart as you've been reading my blog. At first, I was filled with fear and dread on my journey. Now I'm eagerly anticipating going to the high places with Christ. You may think, how can she take this stance? I'll gladly tell you. My faith. My faith and the prayers of others is the only way I can go higher and higher up the mountainside of Cancer. I could never do it alone. I am too weak and too frightened to face this challenge by myself. But, there's something more for me to discover and God has made it perfectly clear to me that He has a divine purpose for my suffering. He has a plan to reveal more of Himself to me in the days ahead. That, to me, is very encouraging and exciting! Just knowing that He has chosen ME makes all the difference. You may think I'm naive...that I have no clue what I'm talking about. Sure, I haven't met with the oncologist yet. I haven't been given the results of the Oncotype DX test yet...the one that will give me a percentage of recurrence probability for the future. But I can choose to be negative and focus on the fact that Cancer is usually a death sentence (either sooner or later) or I can choose to focus on the positive fact that my God is a loving and kind God. He is able to completely heal me if He so chooses. And even if He doesn't, even if I go through years and years of suffering and pain, He will be sufficient. Afterall, He is all I have ever needed! My feet are swift and sure because He has enabled me to go on. My eyes are fixed and I'm looking up! How about you? Where's your focus? Do you want to remain stagnant or do you want to go higher? Let Him take you on your own personal journey of growth into the high places. There's much to be learned and I'm ready to start.

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