One step is enough

As a child, I used to love to watch Jacques Cousteau, a renowned oceanographer. I was always intrigued as he'd put on all of his diving gear and then, just at the moment he was about to flip over the edge of the boat into the water, he'd grab his face mask and hold it tightly so no water would enter. I wanted to be a deep sea diver! I thought it would be so awesome to venture into the undersea world and explore. Just to think of the beautiful and varied sea creatures amid the tangle of sea weed makes me smile. But amid the striking colors of the clown fish, the mandarin fish, and the lion fish are the ugly, steely gray sharks! My fascination with the undersea world stops there. While they are interesting to see, I would never want to chance meeting one face to face!

The first thought that came to mind this morning was that Cancer is like trudging along the bottom of the ocean floor in a lead deep sea diving suit. I remember watching Jacques being helped into one of those cumbersome suits on the ABC television show, The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau, back in 1968. Though I was a young girl at the time, I was captivated as I sat glued to the TV. I watched intently as Jacques was lowered deep onto the ocean floor and I chewed my fingers as I watched him lift first one leg and then the other to move slowly and deliberately across the ocean bottom. Each step he took brought up a cloud of ocean debris as the heavy lead boot hit the sand beneath him. I could almost feel the effort he was using to move through the water. His movements were very animated but no matter how difficult it was, he kept putting one foot in front of the other. 

Getting through this Cancer journey is the same way for me. Daily I have to choose to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. I am learning to rely on my faith to move me through the deep, unknown waters of this disease. I can't focus on the entire journey...one step is enough. I have to learn to look down at my feet and realize that where I am at that very moment is where my focus has to be. I'm learning to trust God for each step of the journey along the way. Some steps may be baby steps and other steps may be giant steps, but with Him I'm always moving forward in faith. Though murky waters surround me and I am unable to see clearly, I will press on because I know I am never alone. 

Faith is like learning to swim. If you struggle in the water, you'll sink and most likely drown. If you just lean back and relax, you'll float and the water will lift your weight effortlessly to the top. With God's help, I'm going to stop swimming against the tide in a school of fear and learn to float on faith in Him. Then I can marvel at all He's doing in my life at the moment instead of feeling weighed down by the magnitude of this disease. 

Your prayers will be my regulator. A diver cannot breathe directly out of the tank because the high pressure would damage his lungs therefore, the cylinder is fitted with a regulator. The regulator does two things: It reduces the pressure from the tank to a safe level for inhalation, and it supplies air on-demand. If I try to ingest the full scope of this Cancer, I'll choke, so please cover me daily in prayer. Pray that I will learn to let go and float instead of sinking due to my struggling. Pray that my faith will increase as God guides me along the way. For your help, I'll be eternally grateful. I can't get through this alone. 

©bonnie annis all rights reserved

^"For our light, momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!], Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

"For we walk by faith [we regulate our lives and conduct ourselves by our conviction or belief respecting man’s relationship to God and divine things, with trust and holy fervor; thus we walk] not by sight or appearance." 2 Corinthians 5:7 (Amplified Bible)