Tell All Tuesday...

It's been almost 2 weeks since I had my double mastectomies performed and some of my lymph nodes removed. It's been a rough road, I'll admit. The first few days after surgery were really difficult. I was in a lot of pain and if it weren't for the pain pills, I don't know if I would have been able to get through it. I felt like I had a tight band wound around my chest and the drainage tubes were pulling and tugging constantly. Any movement with my arms was challenging. I've been walking around the house looking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame! You don't realize how much you count on your chest muscles until you can't use them. I've had to learn to rely on my leg muscles a lot! Sometimes, I feel like a Tyrannosaurus Rex...you know, the dinosaur with little tiny arms and big muscular legs? But I have made a little progress.

This week, I've worked hard to move my arms as much as possible. Since the muscles, tissues, and nerves were cut, it's really hard to do. At least now, I can raise my arms up just enough to wash my hair. I am unable to raise my hands above my head though and I can't lift anything over a pound or two. Trying to pick anything up off of the floor is next to impossible. I'm thankful I have one of those grabber tools because it's really come in handy! I can use it to take one or two pieces of clothing out of the washer and put them into the dryer until the entire load is ready to dry. Then, I use it again to remove the clothing, a few pieces at a time, from the dryer. Determination is the key!

I do my best to cook nutritious meals but they have definitely been lacking. I'm having to sacrifice quality for convenience. Phil is used to me calling him to come help me reach something from a high shelf or remove something from the oven. It would be so nice to have friends or family nearby who could bring a meal or two now and then, but we'll make do!

The housework I do is minimal. The doctor told me I can't do any pushing or pulling, so that means no vacuuming. Sweeping, dusting, and cleaning bathrooms is about all I can manage; but even with those, I have to sit down and rest in the middle of doing anything.This is very unlike me and has taken me a while to accept. My doctor reminds me constantly that I've been through major surgery and it's going to take my body time to heal.

I haven't been out of the house other than to walk down to the mailbox yesterday. That walk just about did me in! If you've seen my driveway, you'd understand why. I try to walk inside the house every day. They don't tell you that after you've had major surgery, your insides decide to slow down and need help remembering what to do. Without going into detail, let me just emphasize the importance of adding fiber to your diet after this type of surgery.

I love to be on the computer, but it's been a challenge in and of itself. My arms go numb as I type so I've had to use a program called Dragon Dramatically Speaking to assist me in keeping my blog up to date and in daily correspondence. I'm thankful programs like this exist for the physically challenged.

Physical hygiene has been another challenge. I can barely manage a shower by myself and Phil has to help me dry off and get dressed afterwards. I'm so thankful he's willing to help me! I don't know what people who live alone do in situations like this.

I haven't been able to sleep well since surgery. I'm a side sleeper and there's no way I can sleep on my side now. I'm having to learn to sleep on my back with massive amounts of pillows to prop me up. I have to keep my arms elevated above my heart so I won't get Lymphedema.

Even with all these daily physical challenges, I look for things for which to be thankful! I know my challenges are temporary. There are so many people who can't say that. It's so easy for us to take things for granted until we can't do them.

Small goals get me through the day. This week, one of my goals was not having to take any pain medication all day long. The first few days, I made it until around 6pm at night before having to give in. I'm hoping today, I won't have to take any. I was told that the pain medication is not only to relieve my pain but will also allow my body to heal faster. I'm hoping to be able to hold a book in a few days without my arms hurting and my fingers going numb. By month's end, I'm hoping my arms will be strong enough to hold my camera again. I have missed taking photographs.

On August 7, I will meet with the Oncologist to discuss my treatment plan and then on the 13th, I'll meet with the Radiologist. So many tests, so much ahead of me...but I press on.

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