What a day

This will be my last post for a few days since tomorrow is the day of my surgery. For any of my Facebook friends, my daughter, Laura, will post a status update and tag me in it so you can see it. I'd like to thank all of you in advance for your love, support, encouragement and prayers. I have been overwhelmed by your kindness. I know that God has placed each and every one of you in my life and for that I am deeply grateful.

What a day today was for me! This morning, I made sure to clean the entire house because I knew I wouldn't be able to do that for a few days and you know how men are...they just don't clean the way we do! After I completed that, hubby and I enjoyed a nice, quiet lunch together. We didn't talk much but that's okay because after being married for as long as we have, even the silences speak volumes.

Laura, her husband, David, and baby Heather came to see us after lunch. What a blessing to have such a sweet distraction. We enjoyed watching Heather as she toddled all over the house. She's so cute since she's finally mastered walking. She even likes to play chase with her daddy as he "runs" around the table, she follows as quickly as she can laughing all the way. I am so thankful for babies!

Soon it was time to head to the hospital for the radioactive lymphatic study. (It has a huge medical name but I can't remember what it is right now.) Oh my goodness! I was not prepared for that. I went to the desk and registered and they immediately took me back. The technician asked me to disrobe and put on a hospital gown with the opening in the front. I thought that a nurse would come in any minute to assist but she never did. The tech told me to lie down on the examination table and open my gown. I was so embarrassed to be lying there totally nude from the chest up. He explained the entire procedure and then told me that he was about to inject lidocaine into my breasts. He said he'd put in two shots of lidocaine in each breast and then he'd inject the radioactive dye. He asked if I was ready and I replied, "not really, but go ahead." Let me tell you, I am not one to use curse words but when he injected the first needle of lidocaine, I just about screamed out a string of obscenities! After having had 4 babies naturally, I think I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but this was really rough! First of all, just the thought of having a needle inserted into your nipple should be enough to make you cringe...but actually feeling it penetrate the skin and then experiencing the burn of the lidocaine...oh my gosh! After the tech numbed me, he injected the radioactive dye. He told me that I'd have to lie on the table for an hour with my arms behind my head while the dye filtered through my lymph nodes. Thankfully, he did give me a warm blanket to cover up with but it wasn't much in the way of consolation for the pain I'd been through.

I lay there for what seemed like forever and finally the tech reappeared and began to run the various scans with the machine. I watched as the radioactive material lit up the screen. He showed me where the concentrations were and told me that he'd have to mark those areas on my body so the doctor would know where the sentinel nodes were when she did surgery. He took a Sharpie and casually marked big black dots on my chest. I was so thankful when he was done and couldn't wait to get out of there.

In an earlier post, I wrote about my desire to make a cast of my bust to keep. Today was the day I had planned to do that. After going to two stores, I finally found one of the pregnancy belly cast kits similar to the one I'd used on my daughter when she was expecting. I was looking forward to getting home and getting it done before I had to pack my suitcase and go to bed. When I got home, I asked my husband if he'd help me do the cast. We lay out all the materials. There was a plastic sheet for covering the floor, surgical gloves to keep your hands clean, petroleum jelly to coat your body so the plaster wouldn't stick to you, plaster strips, and a sanding screen. When everything was set up we began to put the plaster strips on.

We worked and worked with the plaster strips, laying one over the other as instructed. For some reason, the plaster wasn't sticking like it was supposed to do. Then I noticed the black dots the tech had made on my chest were smearing and were almost rubbing off! Oh no! I couldn't let them rub off because if they did, the doctor wouldn't know where to look for the sentinel nodes. Quickly I called my daughter in to help. She dried my skin and reapplied the markings with a Sharpie permanent marker. We waited for those to dry and then scratched the whole bust cast project. I was so disappointed because I had really wanted to have a momento of my breasts to keep. I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

So now I'm packing my bag for the hospital and thinking about how my life is going to change in a few hours. I have no idea what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow.

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