The old gray mare just ain't what she used to be...

Reality kicked me in the seat of the pants today when I realized my energy level is almost non-existent. My daughter and I decided after breakfast to run into town and do a little shopping. We planned our route and headed out. It wasn't quite mid morning yet and I was feeling pretty good, but after visiting three stores, I was wiped out. My arms felt like lead as we entered the last store. When she asked if I needed to go home, I had to admit defeat..."yes, I really do," I said.

It's hard for me to accept the fact that I am just not as strong and energetic as I used to be. Every fiber of my being was tired. Have you ever had mononucleosis? If you have, you know what I'm talking about. Even walking across the parking lot was an effort. My sweet daughter could tell I was hurting and offered to carry my purse for me. I was so thankful she did because I don't think I could have carried it one more step.

As I got into the car and sat down, I felt the area where my arms join my body. It was extremely swollen and painful. The doctor had warned me that this was a consequence of having my lymph nodes removed and can often lead to lymphedema. I could barely wait to get home so I could get my pillows and prop up my arms. The best way to reduce the swelling is to sit with my arms elevated above my heart.

It has been a challenging day. I wanted to spend time with my daughter doing things she enjoys. Although she's 6 months pregnant, she has a lot more energy than I do! I was thankful for her compassion and her discernment. She knew that I was tired and was willing to end her shopping trip so I could go home and rest. Maybe next time I won't get tired as quickly...maybe it would have been better if she had just tied me up to the hitching post while she shopped because this old gray mare just ain't what she used to be anymore.

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