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Thursday, January 8, 2015

In the wee small hours of the morning

In the wee small hours of the morning, while the whole wide world is fast asleep...
“In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning," a popular song from the 50's composed by David Mann, was introduced as the title track of Frank Sinatra’s 1955 album, "In the Wee Small Hours." I love this beautiful, sentimental song. In the wee small hours of THIS morning, I was fast asleep. I don't ever sleep well, so it's a miracle when I do fall into a very deep, peaceful sleep. Imagine my surprise, when I was startled awake. There was nothing to wake me that I know of, no loud noises, nothing to disturb my peaceful state...my husband wasn't even snoring...but I was instantly wide awake.

As I lay looking around the room in the darkness, my mind began to fill with thoughts. They came rushing in like an angry stampede. Headlines from yesterday's news came to mind...the senseless massacre in France, during a business meeting held at Charlie Hebdo's offices, where 12 innocent, unsuspecting people lost their lives, they had no idea, that within minutes, they would be spending their last seconds on earth...the shock, the terror, the chaos. I thought of their poor families and how in just an instant their lives would never be the same again. I wondered if the gunmen, after leaving their wake of destruction, were off celebrating somewhere with their black shrouded comrades while chanting, "Allahu Akbar." Senseless. So Senseless...and then the verse, "and because iniquity shall abound, the love of many will wax cold" from Matthew Chapter 24 verse 12 came to mind. My brain was spinning. Thoughts came rushing in from all sides. It was as if a dam had been opened and the flood waters were headed straight for me...washing over me, enveloping, almost to the point of drowning me. 

I got out of bed and flipped on the light. I was wide awake so I might as well get up. (I'd read somewhere that if you were unable to sleep it was better to go ahead and get out of bed...so I did.) Throwing back the down comforter, I left the cozy warmth of my bed and padded across the carpeted floor to get dressed. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was only a little after 5:00 a.m. now. I'd been awake since just before 4:00 a.m. That meant I'd only had five hours of sleep, yet I was wide awake...fully coherent and functioning.

Now I sit at my computer. The quiet glides easily through the house. I hear the rush of traffic outside my window as commuters begin to make their way to their offices. I wonder if any of them have given a second thought to the employees who lost their lives yesterday. I wonder how many of them are listening to the radio...how many are hearing the world news right now, probably not many. I imagine most commuters flip on their CD players or satellite radio to hear their favorite tunes before arriving at their workplace...to drown out the thoughts in their heads...to just relax and mellow. It's probably too early for them to take on the heaviness of the world's problems just yet, and still time ticks on. 

Time. Precious seconds, minutes and hours. It slips away so silently. I wish I could bottle it and save it but instead I have to teach myself to learn to savor it, like a fine wine...swirling it around and watching it's color, sniffing the sweet nectar of it and then slowly, deliberately tasting it...allowing it to wet my mouth with its flavor. 

I glance at the clock on my computer. It's almost 7:00 a.m. now. Where are those three hours, the ones I'd lost between waking and now? Do you see how fast they've disappeared? But Chaucer once said, "time and tide wait for no man." And how very true that statement is, was, and forever will be. Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking... into the future...

After writing my blog post, my mind felt a little lighter. Maybe I needed to dump out all the thoughts I was thinking and that's why I woke up so early. But then again, I was reminded of another verse of Scripture... 
"When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul." Psalm 94:19 Hmmm...now that's something to think about!

©bonnie annis all rights reserved

And here's a quotation that I love by one of my favorite authors, Pastor Andrew Murray: 

"Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, or irritable, To wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing that is done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Creator and Sustainer in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble."
Andrew Murray
 












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