The sounds of silence

I heard a quote the other day that really touched my heart. It was made by a well known psychologist, Dr. Laura Schlessinger. She's a wise woman and very well educated. She has a way with words and tells it like it is. This quote, by Dr. Schlessinger, is profound: "We won't remember the words spoken from our enemies, but instead, the silence from our friends." Powerful, isn't it? Those sixteen words resonated in my soul and prompted my blog post for today.

Why should they care? It's just cancer. I mean it's not like I'm at the point of death or anything, right? And yet, the silence is deafening. When the diagnosis was fresh, of course, some family members and friends rallied but the majority have remained silent. Blood. We share the same blood and yet, it's as if I'm non existent. How long does it take to pick up the phone and dial a number? And if that's too much, why not write a quick note and mail it off? Simple. I don't get it. Perhaps that's human nature..."if it's not affecting me or my family, why should I get involved?" Maybe that's what they're thinking, who knows. Maybe I shouldn't expect anything and yet, I do...not necessarily from friends, but definitely from family.

Thinking back over the last fifteen months, I remember how helpful people were to me during my cancer diagnosis and treatments. I received encouragement from old high school friends through Facebook. A few distant relatives got in touch with me personally or called my mother to get the latest updates. Some of my husband's coworkers, whom I'd never met before, asked him about me constantly. One of my neighbors brought home-cooked meals. Even the cashier at our local pizza parlor became involved in my struggle and asked weekly how things were going. Those efforts were very touching and ones I'll always remember.

There were many kind words provided to me over the past year. But as difficult as it sometimes is, I try not to focus on friends or family members who might not have spoken to me, or made some kind of effort at contact, during my trial. I try not to focus on the people I would have expected to hear from, but didn't. People who, for whatever reason, didn't step up to the plate. And the reason I try not to focus on them is because it takes time away from something more important...the people who blessed me in so many more ways than I can comprehend. Those are the people I'll choose to think about and remember well. Dr. Schlessinger was right. Rarely do we ever remember the unkind words spoken to us from our enemies but silence from our friends (and family members) speaks volumes.

Listen to the Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel here.

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