Utterly frustrated!

 

Facebook. It can be such a marvelous place to connect with old friends and stay in touch with distant family members, but it can also be a place of frustration and heartbreak. Since being diagnosed with breast cancer, I've found a whole community of ladies through various Facebook sites. Some of the sites are very uplifting and filled with hope while others are filled with negativity and dread. When I first joined these groups, I was just looking for a little camaraderie and helpful advice. It's hard to figure things out when there's no manual for surviving cancer. I learned a lot and I met some nice people but I also learned very quickly how constant negativity can pull you down.

There's one woman I met recently on a Facebook breast cancer site. Her name is Jenny (I won't share her last name to protect her privacy.) She's in her mid 30's, the mother to 2 young boys, and the wife of a good looking man. She's got stage IV metastatic breast cancer I have stage 2B with metastasis to the lymph nodes. She's Triple Negative, which means none of the usual hormones (Estrogen, Progesterone or Her2Neu) feed her cancer. My cancer was fed by Estrogen and Progesterone. Triple Negative is nasty stuff. It is one of the most agressive, hard to treat breast cancers out there and it attacks many young women each year. I was really thankful I didn't have Triple Negative breast cancer.

When I first read Jenny's story, I was just comparing our lives. There were so many differences in our views on cancer and that didn't really surprise me because I don't think Jenny is a Christian. In every Facebook post and every Youtube video she puts up, Jenny is very matter of fact and very negative. I was so saddened by things she posted that I started to focus on reading between the lines. I wanted to hear what she wasn't saying. From what I could tell, Jenny was most certainly scared, as are most women diagnosed with breast cancer. The thing that really bothered me most was the fact that she didn't seem to have hope in anything. Every single post contained the words, "I know I'm not going to survive this," or "I know I'm going to die from this." Those words frustrated me so much. I believe there is a huge amount of power in the spoken word and I wanted to scream at Jenny and say, "Wake up! Speak life over yourself! You don't have to see things so negatively."

Let me make this clear. I don't know Jenny personally although we have had some exchanges via Facebook. I don't know her entire story, only what she's shared online and I'm certainly not judging her. I know each person comes from different backgrounds and upbringing. I know many people don't have a deep faith to sustain them. Maybe Jenny's just a realist or maybe she's truly come to accept the fact that she may not be around much longer...I don't really know. What I do know is your brain believes what you tell it and it acts on what it hears.

I want so badly to share my heart with Jenny and help her see how the negative words she speaks over herself affect her. I want to share Jesus with her and help her know there is a reason for hope even if she is in the last stage of her cancer journey, but I have to tread carefully here. She's posted on her Facebook wall that she doesn't want any unsolicited advice, so where does that leave me? It leaves me in a position to only pray for her and that is what I'm going to do.

I'm committing to pray for Jenny daily and I'm going to use every opportunity I get to post words of encouragement on her Facebook wall. I'd like to ask you to join with me in praying for this dear one...I know God allowed us to meet through the internet for a reason and I also know she's precious to Jesus even though she doesn't know and understand it yet.

It's hard to be a person of faith knowing there are so many lost souls in the world. It's even harder to be a breast cancer survivor and a woman of faith. It's a great responsibility to be a breast cancer survivor who is also a Christian. I want to walk out my faith in all aspects of my life and I want to help reach lost ones with the truth. It's important to me to let others know what God has done for me and how He's blessed me on this journey.

Poor Jenny...I can only imagine how challenging life must be for her without an anchor of hope. Please pray for me as I attempt to witness to her through loving words and deeds. At stage IV her cancer has metastasized into her liver, her lungs and her brain. It definitely doesn't sound good for her but God is a God of miracles and I believe with all my heart if He wants to heal her this side of heaven, He will. It may not be in His plan to heal her but I surely hope it is, even if it's not until she reaches glory. I just hope she makes it to glory and she won't if she doesn't hear and understand the truth. The Bible says, in Romans 10:17 "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." If Jenny doesn't hear Scripture, how can she know the truth and how can she be set free?

I think God's given me a responsibility here to bring truth into Jenny's life. I want to be very tender and compassionate in my sharing. Please pray for opportunities in the days ahead for me to speak the truth in love. Thank you in advance and I'll keep you posted on how things progress. 

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