Today I had the joy of going to the hospital to visit some dear friends. They'd just had their first child, a beautiful baby boy. They were so excited to share the details of their labor and delivery. I quietly watched their animated expressions. They were so happy and so in love. It was wonderful!
My husband and I watched them as they tenderly held their little one. He was so tiny, so fragile. He was all wrapped up in a little flannel blanket the hospital had provided and had the tiniest little hat on his head. Peeking out from under that hat was a head full of coal black hair. The window blinds were open and casting the most beautiful light on his face. Every single feature was gorgeous.
And then, the baby began to get fussy. She was a new mother and didn't quite know what to do. She let him fuss and cry looking up at me with an expression of puzzlement in her eyes. I went over to the baby and picked him up. I told her it was probably time for him to eat and asked when she'd last fed him. She told me it had been earlier this morning and now, it was almost 11:30 a.m. I said it was more than likely that he was either in need of a diaper change or ready to eat. I suggested she feed him first and change him later.
All the men in the room decided to leave. It was evident they felt strange about being around a woman who was about to begin breastfeeding. I asked her husband if he'd like me to stay and help her since she didn't have any family or friends with her. He happily agreed as he left the room with the other men.
I went over to her and helped her unsnap her hospital gown revealing her lovely, voluptuous breast. I asked if she knew how to breast feed and she shook her head no. She had only tried what she thought was the right way to do it earlier in the day and didn't have much success. I explained to her it was so important that the baby latch on correctly so he could feed properly and so he wouldn't make her sore. Lifting the baby to her breast, I showed her how to position him properly so he could take hold of her breast. Immediately, the baby latched on and began sucking. My friend looked up at me and had the biggest grin on her face. She was so excited! When I felt she was secure in feeding, I walked back to my chair and sat with her. We didn't talk, I just watched this beautiful mother and son bonding.
I was ashamed of myself as I sat there watching. Tiny, tiny pangs of jealousy overcame me and I don't even know why they did. I'm well past childbearing years. I guess the reason I was feeling a little jealous was due to memories of feeding my own children. Those were such sweet times. Holding one of my children against my body and feeling that gentle pull as sustenance flowed from me into them. It was a time of sheer bliss. As I continued to watch her, I was reminded that my breasts are gone...permanently gone. Sitting in the chair, I said a silent prayer for her, that she would never experience the horrors of breast cancer.
The baby fed for about ten minutes and I went over to show her how to burp him. She was so funny trying to pat him on the back. She barely patted at all and I told her he wouldn't break. She had to pat just a little harder to expel the air from his stomach. He let out a hearty burp as I took him from her and showed her once again. Then I helped him latch onto the other side.
I'd taken my camera with me in hopes of getting some special photos. I knew my friends didn't have anyone to take photos of them and I wanted to do it as a special gift to them. While the feeding continued, I asked permission to take some photos during this special time. Behind my lens, I was amazed at the simplistic beauty that filled the frame. Tears welled in my eyes as I beheld this special moment. After capturing several shots, I put my camera down and went over to help again. I asked if she knew how to change the baby's diaper and she shook her no. I was so glad I was there to show her what to do.
The baby was fed and happy as he drifted off to sleep. Tenderly, I placed him in his bassinet and went over to help my sweet friend fasten her gown. She hadn't been one bit embarrassed to have me help her and I was grateful for the opportunity. As I snapped the last snap, I asked if she'd bought any breast pads for her bra. She looked at me like I was crazy until I explained what they were and then, she said she didn't have any. This poor first time mother! She had so much to learn. I wished I lived closer to her so I could help her when she went home from the hospital.
It's amazing that God perfectly provides for mothers to feed their babies. It's the most natural thing and yet some consider it obscene if done in public. Artists have painted gorgeous paintings of women with a child at their breast, but I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some appreciate this side of femininity and some do not.
When I got home, I went through the photos I had taken at the hospital. The all turned out perfectly. When I got to the ones of my friend feeding her little one, all the feelings of jealousy I'd experienced earlier were gone. Here before me was just a sweet, young mother caring for her baby.
I do miss my breasts. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. It's taken a year and a half to get to a point where I can not wear my prostheses and be okay with it. When I go out in public, I wear them. Not because I want to feel feminine but because my clothes don't fit well without them.
Breasts are not merely sexual objects. They are functional. They were created for a purpose and feeding a baby is one of them.
I can't wait to show the photos I took to her husband. I'm hoping he'll like them. I think he will be pleasantly surprised.
Before I left the hospital room, my friend paid me a huge compliment. She told me I was "a wonderful mother" but also "a wonderful friend." She was so thankful to have had me to teach her how to breastfeed her child today. What better way to end a day? And how could anyone be jealous after that?
© bonnie annis all rights reserved
Showing posts with label breasts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breasts. Show all posts
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
So what if I'm flat?
Well, I tried it and I didn't like it. After a few months of living sans breasts and forcing myself to wear the fake boobs, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting myself. I couldn't help that I had breast cancer. I couldn't help that my breasts had to go. Putting on these falsies felt like a huge lie and they made me feel horrible about myself. Yes, they made my shirts fit a little better but other than that, I was just pretending.
Wearing the prostheses reminded me of a time way back when I was in grammar school. All my little friends were starting to get their "boobies." I wanted some so badly but I was flat as a pancake. There were a few of us who just weren't developing yet and we all decided to take matters into our own hands. So one day, in the school restroom, we got our little training bras and stuffed them with Kleenex until we had little mounds of fake breasts. We thought we were hot stuff! We got ourselves all adjusted and strutted right out of that bathroom with our little chests sticking out in front of us. We were so proud of ourselves...that is, until some of the tissue slipped and we were lopsided, which called for a quick readjustment. But then, to make matters worse, one of my girlfriends had the worst luck. Her tissue fell completely out of her bra onto the floor. Imagine the absolute look of horror on her face when her boob drifted slowly out from under her shirt and floated casually to the floor leaving her flat on one side and poofy on the other! As I think back about it now, I laugh but we were desperate back then! Why did we feel this way? Even at such a tender young age, we were already brainwashed into thinking to be a woman, you had to have breasts.
Some women choose to have reconstruction after their mastectomies and some don't. There's nothing wrong with women who choose to have reconstruction, it just simply wasn't for me. I had no desire whatsoever to put myself through any more surgery or any more pain. But some women can't fathom the thoughts of living without their breasts, even if they're abnormal looking...like those formed from extra stomach fat, back fat, fanny fat, or jiggly underarm or thigh fat. Reconstructive surgeons can make fake boobs out of pretty much any fatty tissue on a woman's body but it's a complicated procedure and doesn't always work. Reconnecting all of those delicate blood vessels isn't easy and sometimes, the tissue dies. There are many, many breast reconstruction horror stories. Just Google it for yourself and you'll see! But it's the choice of each breast cancer patient and the choice they make is one they have to be happy with for the rest of their lives. Every breast cancer patient has so many options presented to them and there are so many factors that come into play, so how can I be one to judge? The main decision we, as breast cancer survivors have to make, is to live.
I thought about it. I really did. I thought about what the doctor said about having to wear my fake boobs. I thought about what she said about how my body would react if I didn't wear them...how my shoulders would eventually round forward and how my spine would start giving me problems. But when I thought about putting fake boobs where my real breasts used to be, I just couldn't do it. Even she said, "well, you really didn't have big boobs in the first place. So why on Earth did the fitter at the prostheses store give you such big ones?" I told the doc, "I have no idea. I told her I wanted a size A cup but I think she gave me a C or D! The ones I have must weigh 2 or 3 pounds each."
But the more and more I thought about it, I decided why should I let society dictate what I do with my life? Why does it matter if I have no breasts? Am I less than every other woman? Can I still be considered sexy? Am I still a woman? Who sets the standards anyway? Can't I be just me with or without boobs?
I talked it over with my husband and we decided that even without boobs, I was still pretty amazing. I was still a woman, still a wife, still a mother, still a grandmother in spite of every thing breast cancer wanted to steal from me. So I will continue to be "flat as a flitter." I feel more comfortable that way, especially at home. Maybe, on rare occasions when I feel like it, I'll slip into my mastectomy bra and take the girls out for a spin, but more than likely I'll leave them in their cute little pink zippered boxes and let them sulk their little silicone hearts out.
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
But the more and more I thought about it, I decided why should I let society dictate what I do with my life? Why does it matter if I have no breasts? Am I less than every other woman? Can I still be considered sexy? Am I still a woman? Who sets the standards anyway? Can't I be just me with or without boobs?
I talked it over with my husband and we decided that even without boobs, I was still pretty amazing. I was still a woman, still a wife, still a mother, still a grandmother in spite of every thing breast cancer wanted to steal from me. So I will continue to be "flat as a flitter." I feel more comfortable that way, especially at home. Maybe, on rare occasions when I feel like it, I'll slip into my mastectomy bra and take the girls out for a spin, but more than likely I'll leave them in their cute little pink zippered boxes and let them sulk their little silicone hearts out.
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
It’s
not that I deny anyone the right to handle their cancer their way. I
hate to see anyone–ANYONE–having to be put in the position of being a
warrior against cancer–least of all me.
And as a fighter, I reserve the right to handle my diagnosis the way I choose–as all of these women and men have done. Bravo to them and bravo to Ford for spotlighting them, supporting them, clothing them in the gear–all of it. It’s amazing to watch a business, no matter the na-sayers who claim it’s about publicity, or tax right offs, or blah blah blah–
listen, when you’ve got the disease, then come to me with your complaints. But I bet you won’t complain–you’ll just be grateful, like I am, that somebody gives a damn about you and your horrific, mind-blowing, life-changing and maybe life-ending experience.
So here’s what bums me out: not a one of them is without breasts and showing themselves as such. You know what that says to me? It says that breasts are way too important.
I have nothing–NOTHING–against reconstruction, or prosthetics. I’m just saying that presenting yourself as with breasts, even when you’re not, is not the only answer.
When I thought about putting fake breasts back into the place where my real breasts–one of which had cancer and one that didn’t–were, I was put into the awful position of “what if I have no breasts? What am I then? Am I still sexy? Am I still a woman?” And after 4 terrible, stomach churning, put-this-marriage-to-the-test days, my hero-of-a husband and I decided I would still be amazing without boobs. I would still be female, still beautiful and (gasp) sexy, despite what breast cancer wanted to steal from me. And I am proud of that decision–though not altogether understood by the world around me for making it.
After a few months of living without breasts, and trying prosthetics, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting me. I had breast cancer, my breasts had to go–and putting on fake boobs was like a bad costume party in my mind; and it made me feel bad. So I dumped them. For 8 years I’ve lived as is–no breasts, no bumps, but plenty of life.
In a video like this, what would have amazing impact to me is seeing a woman–or more than one woman—who chose to not have reconstruction and doesn’t wear fake breasts. I am not saying me. I am just saying someone. Someone who says, “hey society, guess what? I love myself, as does my husband, and I have NO BOOBS. How bout that,society?”
I am not saying all people should make my decision; I am saying that many of us out here do. We make a hard, horrible decision that less is more, as the saying goes–especially in the face of chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy surgery, recovery, and all the pills you have to take for the next 5 years to keep breast cancer at bay. It’s not always about reconstruction or fake breasts after breast cancer. It’s about living.
So next year I hope somebody chooses to submit themselves into the casting call for this fantastic, formidable, film-worthy video support in the fight against breast cancer who has no breasts and doesn’t use prosthetics. There are many of us out there, fighting after their first battle, after their second round–or in my case, after it’s jumped the fence and gone into other organs (metastatic)–and we are ALL FIGHTERS. We are proud, we are pumping iron, we are praying to live through this devastating illness…
..even those of us with a few less body parts to fight with.
- See more at: http://www.projectpinkdiary.com/2012/05/anns-diary-breast-and-breastless-cancer-heroes/#sthash.FEgOaFnU.dpuf
And as a fighter, I reserve the right to handle my diagnosis the way I choose–as all of these women and men have done. Bravo to them and bravo to Ford for spotlighting them, supporting them, clothing them in the gear–all of it. It’s amazing to watch a business, no matter the na-sayers who claim it’s about publicity, or tax right offs, or blah blah blah–
listen, when you’ve got the disease, then come to me with your complaints. But I bet you won’t complain–you’ll just be grateful, like I am, that somebody gives a damn about you and your horrific, mind-blowing, life-changing and maybe life-ending experience.
So here’s what bums me out: not a one of them is without breasts and showing themselves as such. You know what that says to me? It says that breasts are way too important.
I have nothing–NOTHING–against reconstruction, or prosthetics. I’m just saying that presenting yourself as with breasts, even when you’re not, is not the only answer.
When I thought about putting fake breasts back into the place where my real breasts–one of which had cancer and one that didn’t–were, I was put into the awful position of “what if I have no breasts? What am I then? Am I still sexy? Am I still a woman?” And after 4 terrible, stomach churning, put-this-marriage-to-the-test days, my hero-of-a husband and I decided I would still be amazing without boobs. I would still be female, still beautiful and (gasp) sexy, despite what breast cancer wanted to steal from me. And I am proud of that decision–though not altogether understood by the world around me for making it.
After a few months of living without breasts, and trying prosthetics, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting me. I had breast cancer, my breasts had to go–and putting on fake boobs was like a bad costume party in my mind; and it made me feel bad. So I dumped them. For 8 years I’ve lived as is–no breasts, no bumps, but plenty of life.
In a video like this, what would have amazing impact to me is seeing a woman–or more than one woman—who chose to not have reconstruction and doesn’t wear fake breasts. I am not saying me. I am just saying someone. Someone who says, “hey society, guess what? I love myself, as does my husband, and I have NO BOOBS. How bout that,society?”
I am not saying all people should make my decision; I am saying that many of us out here do. We make a hard, horrible decision that less is more, as the saying goes–especially in the face of chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy surgery, recovery, and all the pills you have to take for the next 5 years to keep breast cancer at bay. It’s not always about reconstruction or fake breasts after breast cancer. It’s about living.
So next year I hope somebody chooses to submit themselves into the casting call for this fantastic, formidable, film-worthy video support in the fight against breast cancer who has no breasts and doesn’t use prosthetics. There are many of us out there, fighting after their first battle, after their second round–or in my case, after it’s jumped the fence and gone into other organs (metastatic)–and we are ALL FIGHTERS. We are proud, we are pumping iron, we are praying to live through this devastating illness…
..even those of us with a few less body parts to fight with.
- See more at: http://www.projectpinkdiary.com/2012/05/anns-diary-breast-and-breastless-cancer-heroes/#sthash.FEgOaFnU.dpuf
It’s
not that I deny anyone the right to handle their cancer their way. I
hate to see anyone–ANYONE–having to be put in the position of being a
warrior against cancer–least of all me.
And as a fighter, I reserve the right to handle my diagnosis the way I choose–as all of these women and men have done. Bravo to them and bravo to Ford for spotlighting them, supporting them, clothing them in the gear–all of it. It’s amazing to watch a business, no matter the na-sayers who claim it’s about publicity, or tax right offs, or blah blah blah–
listen, when you’ve got the disease, then come to me with your complaints. But I bet you won’t complain–you’ll just be grateful, like I am, that somebody gives a damn about you and your horrific, mind-blowing, life-changing and maybe life-ending experience.
So here’s what bums me out: not a one of them is without breasts and showing themselves as such. You know what that says to me? It says that breasts are way too important.
I have nothing–NOTHING–against reconstruction, or prosthetics. I’m just saying that presenting yourself as with breasts, even when you’re not, is not the only answer.
When I thought about putting fake breasts back into the place where my real breasts–one of which had cancer and one that didn’t–were, I was put into the awful position of “what if I have no breasts? What am I then? Am I still sexy? Am I still a woman?” And after 4 terrible, stomach churning, put-this-marriage-to-the-test days, my hero-of-a husband and I decided I would still be amazing without boobs. I would still be female, still beautiful and (gasp) sexy, despite what breast cancer wanted to steal from me. And I am proud of that decision–though not altogether understood by the world around me for making it.
After a few months of living without breasts, and trying prosthetics, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting me. I had breast cancer, my breasts had to go–and putting on fake boobs was like a bad costume party in my mind; and it made me feel bad. So I dumped them. For 8 years I’ve lived as is–no breasts, no bumps, but plenty of life.
In a video like this, what would have amazing impact to me is seeing a woman–or more than one woman—who chose to not have reconstruction and doesn’t wear fake breasts. I am not saying me. I am just saying someone. Someone who says, “hey society, guess what? I love myself, as does my husband, and I have NO BOOBS. How bout that,society?”
I am not saying all people should make my decision; I am saying that many of us out here do. We make a hard, horrible decision that less is more, as the saying goes–especially in the face of chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy surgery, recovery, and all the pills you have to take for the next 5 years to keep breast cancer at bay. It’s not always about reconstruction or fake breasts after breast cancer. It’s about living.
So next year I hope somebody chooses to submit themselves into the casting call for this fantastic, formidable, film-worthy video support in the fight against breast cancer who has no breasts and doesn’t use prosthetics. There are many of us out there, fighting after their first battle, after their second round–or in my case, after it’s jumped the fence and gone into other organs (metastatic)–and we are ALL FIGHTERS. We are proud, we are pumping iron, we are praying to live through this devastating illness…
..even those of us with a few less body parts to fight with.
- See more at: http://www.projectpinkdiary.com/2012/05/anns-diary-breast-and-breastless-cancer-heroes/#sthash.FEgOaFnU.dpuf
And as a fighter, I reserve the right to handle my diagnosis the way I choose–as all of these women and men have done. Bravo to them and bravo to Ford for spotlighting them, supporting them, clothing them in the gear–all of it. It’s amazing to watch a business, no matter the na-sayers who claim it’s about publicity, or tax right offs, or blah blah blah–
listen, when you’ve got the disease, then come to me with your complaints. But I bet you won’t complain–you’ll just be grateful, like I am, that somebody gives a damn about you and your horrific, mind-blowing, life-changing and maybe life-ending experience.
So here’s what bums me out: not a one of them is without breasts and showing themselves as such. You know what that says to me? It says that breasts are way too important.
I have nothing–NOTHING–against reconstruction, or prosthetics. I’m just saying that presenting yourself as with breasts, even when you’re not, is not the only answer.
When I thought about putting fake breasts back into the place where my real breasts–one of which had cancer and one that didn’t–were, I was put into the awful position of “what if I have no breasts? What am I then? Am I still sexy? Am I still a woman?” And after 4 terrible, stomach churning, put-this-marriage-to-the-test days, my hero-of-a husband and I decided I would still be amazing without boobs. I would still be female, still beautiful and (gasp) sexy, despite what breast cancer wanted to steal from me. And I am proud of that decision–though not altogether understood by the world around me for making it.
After a few months of living without breasts, and trying prosthetics, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting me. I had breast cancer, my breasts had to go–and putting on fake boobs was like a bad costume party in my mind; and it made me feel bad. So I dumped them. For 8 years I’ve lived as is–no breasts, no bumps, but plenty of life.
In a video like this, what would have amazing impact to me is seeing a woman–or more than one woman—who chose to not have reconstruction and doesn’t wear fake breasts. I am not saying me. I am just saying someone. Someone who says, “hey society, guess what? I love myself, as does my husband, and I have NO BOOBS. How bout that,society?”
I am not saying all people should make my decision; I am saying that many of us out here do. We make a hard, horrible decision that less is more, as the saying goes–especially in the face of chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy surgery, recovery, and all the pills you have to take for the next 5 years to keep breast cancer at bay. It’s not always about reconstruction or fake breasts after breast cancer. It’s about living.
So next year I hope somebody chooses to submit themselves into the casting call for this fantastic, formidable, film-worthy video support in the fight against breast cancer who has no breasts and doesn’t use prosthetics. There are many of us out there, fighting after their first battle, after their second round–or in my case, after it’s jumped the fence and gone into other organs (metastatic)–and we are ALL FIGHTERS. We are proud, we are pumping iron, we are praying to live through this devastating illness…
..even those of us with a few less body parts to fight with.
- See more at: http://www.projectpinkdiary.com/2012/05/anns-diary-breast-and-breastless-cancer-heroes/#sthash.FEgOaFnU.dpuf
It’s
not that I deny anyone the right to handle their cancer their way. I
hate to see anyone–ANYONE–having to be put in the position of being a
warrior against cancer–least of all me.
And as a fighter, I reserve the right to handle my diagnosis the way I choose–as all of these women and men have done. Bravo to them and bravo to Ford for spotlighting them, supporting them, clothing them in the gear–all of it. It’s amazing to watch a business, no matter the na-sayers who claim it’s about publicity, or tax right offs, or blah blah blah–
listen, when you’ve got the disease, then come to me with your complaints. But I bet you won’t complain–you’ll just be grateful, like I am, that somebody gives a damn about you and your horrific, mind-blowing, life-changing and maybe life-ending experience.
So here’s what bums me out: not a one of them is without breasts and showing themselves as such. You know what that says to me? It says that breasts are way too important.
I have nothing–NOTHING–against reconstruction, or prosthetics. I’m just saying that presenting yourself as with breasts, even when you’re not, is not the only answer.
When I thought about putting fake breasts back into the place where my real breasts–one of which had cancer and one that didn’t–were, I was put into the awful position of “what if I have no breasts? What am I then? Am I still sexy? Am I still a woman?” And after 4 terrible, stomach churning, put-this-marriage-to-the-test days, my hero-of-a husband and I decided I would still be amazing without boobs. I would still be female, still beautiful and (gasp) sexy, despite what breast cancer wanted to steal from me. And I am proud of that decision–though not altogether understood by the world around me for making it.
After a few months of living without breasts, and trying prosthetics, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting me. I had breast cancer, my breasts had to go–and putting on fake boobs was like a bad costume party in my mind; and it made me feel bad. So I dumped them. For 8 years I’ve lived as is–no breasts, no bumps, but plenty of life.
In a video like this, what would have amazing impact to me is seeing a woman–or more than one woman—who chose to not have reconstruction and doesn’t wear fake breasts. I am not saying me. I am just saying someone. Someone who says, “hey society, guess what? I love myself, as does my husband, and I have NO BOOBS. How bout that,society?”
I am not saying all people should make my decision; I am saying that many of us out here do. We make a hard, horrible decision that less is more, as the saying goes–especially in the face of chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy surgery, recovery, and all the pills you have to take for the next 5 years to keep breast cancer at bay. It’s not always about reconstruction or fake breasts after breast cancer. It’s about living.
So next year I hope somebody chooses to submit themselves into the casting call for this fantastic, formidable, film-worthy video support in the fight against breast cancer who has no breasts and doesn’t use prosthetics. There are many of us out there, fighting after their first battle, after their second round–or in my case, after it’s jumped the fence and gone into other organs (metastatic)–and we are ALL FIGHTERS. We are proud, we are pumping iron, we are praying to live through this devastating illness…
..even those of us with a few less body parts to fight with.
- See more at: http://www.projectpinkdiary.com/2012/05/anns-diary-breast-and-breastless-cancer-heroes/#sthash.FEgOaFnU.dpuf
And as a fighter, I reserve the right to handle my diagnosis the way I choose–as all of these women and men have done. Bravo to them and bravo to Ford for spotlighting them, supporting them, clothing them in the gear–all of it. It’s amazing to watch a business, no matter the na-sayers who claim it’s about publicity, or tax right offs, or blah blah blah–
listen, when you’ve got the disease, then come to me with your complaints. But I bet you won’t complain–you’ll just be grateful, like I am, that somebody gives a damn about you and your horrific, mind-blowing, life-changing and maybe life-ending experience.
So here’s what bums me out: not a one of them is without breasts and showing themselves as such. You know what that says to me? It says that breasts are way too important.
I have nothing–NOTHING–against reconstruction, or prosthetics. I’m just saying that presenting yourself as with breasts, even when you’re not, is not the only answer.
When I thought about putting fake breasts back into the place where my real breasts–one of which had cancer and one that didn’t–were, I was put into the awful position of “what if I have no breasts? What am I then? Am I still sexy? Am I still a woman?” And after 4 terrible, stomach churning, put-this-marriage-to-the-test days, my hero-of-a husband and I decided I would still be amazing without boobs. I would still be female, still beautiful and (gasp) sexy, despite what breast cancer wanted to steal from me. And I am proud of that decision–though not altogether understood by the world around me for making it.
After a few months of living without breasts, and trying prosthetics, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting me. I had breast cancer, my breasts had to go–and putting on fake boobs was like a bad costume party in my mind; and it made me feel bad. So I dumped them. For 8 years I’ve lived as is–no breasts, no bumps, but plenty of life.
In a video like this, what would have amazing impact to me is seeing a woman–or more than one woman—who chose to not have reconstruction and doesn’t wear fake breasts. I am not saying me. I am just saying someone. Someone who says, “hey society, guess what? I love myself, as does my husband, and I have NO BOOBS. How bout that,society?”
I am not saying all people should make my decision; I am saying that many of us out here do. We make a hard, horrible decision that less is more, as the saying goes–especially in the face of chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy surgery, recovery, and all the pills you have to take for the next 5 years to keep breast cancer at bay. It’s not always about reconstruction or fake breasts after breast cancer. It’s about living.
So next year I hope somebody chooses to submit themselves into the casting call for this fantastic, formidable, film-worthy video support in the fight against breast cancer who has no breasts and doesn’t use prosthetics. There are many of us out there, fighting after their first battle, after their second round–or in my case, after it’s jumped the fence and gone into other organs (metastatic)–and we are ALL FIGHTERS. We are proud, we are pumping iron, we are praying to live through this devastating illness…
..even those of us with a few less body parts to fight with.
- See more at: http://www.projectpinkdiary.com/2012/05/anns-diary-breast-and-breastless-cancer-heroes/#sthash.FEgOaFnU.dpuf
It’s
not that I deny anyone the right to handle their cancer their way. I
hate to see anyone–ANYONE–having to be put in the position of being a
warrior against cancer–least of all me.
And as a fighter, I reserve the right to handle my diagnosis the way I choose–as all of these women and men have done. Bravo to them and bravo to Ford for spotlighting them, supporting them, clothing them in the gear–all of it. It’s amazing to watch a business, no matter the na-sayers who claim it’s about publicity, or tax right offs, or blah blah blah–
listen, when you’ve got the disease, then come to me with your complaints. But I bet you won’t complain–you’ll just be grateful, like I am, that somebody gives a damn about you and your horrific, mind-blowing, life-changing and maybe life-ending experience.
So here’s what bums me out: not a one of them is without breasts and showing themselves as such. You know what that says to me? It says that breasts are way too important.
I have nothing–NOTHING–against reconstruction, or prosthetics. I’m just saying that presenting yourself as with breasts, even when you’re not, is not the only answer.
When I thought about putting fake breasts back into the place where my real breasts–one of which had cancer and one that didn’t–were, I was put into the awful position of “what if I have no breasts? What am I then? Am I still sexy? Am I still a woman?” And after 4 terrible, stomach churning, put-this-marriage-to-the-test days, my hero-of-a husband and I decided I would still be amazing without boobs. I would still be female, still beautiful and (gasp) sexy, despite what breast cancer wanted to steal from me. And I am proud of that decision–though not altogether understood by the world around me for making it.
After a few months of living without breasts, and trying prosthetics, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting me. I had breast cancer, my breasts had to go–and putting on fake boobs was like a bad costume party in my mind; and it made me feel bad. So I dumped them. For 8 years I’ve lived as is–no breasts, no bumps, but plenty of life.
In a video like this, what would have amazing impact to me is seeing a woman–or more than one woman—who chose to not have reconstruction and doesn’t wear fake breasts. I am not saying me. I am just saying someone. Someone who says, “hey society, guess what? I love myself, as does my husband, and I have NO BOOBS. How bout that,society?”
I am not saying all people should make my decision; I am saying that many of us out here do. We make a hard, horrible decision that less is more, as the saying goes–especially in the face of chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy surgery, recovery, and all the pills you have to take for the next 5 years to keep breast cancer at bay. It’s not always about reconstruction or fake breasts after breast cancer. It’s about living.
So next year I hope somebody chooses to submit themselves into the casting call for this fantastic, formidable, film-worthy video support in the fight against breast cancer who has no breasts and doesn’t use prosthetics. There are many of us out there, fighting after their first battle, after their second round–or in my case, after it’s jumped the fence and gone into other organs (metastatic)–and we are ALL FIGHTERS. We are proud, we are pumping iron, we are praying to live through this devastating illness…
..even those of us with a few less body parts to fight with.
- See more at: http://www.projectpinkdiary.com/2012/05/anns-diary-breast-and-breastless-cancer-heroes/#sthash.FEgOaFnU.dpuf
And as a fighter, I reserve the right to handle my diagnosis the way I choose–as all of these women and men have done. Bravo to them and bravo to Ford for spotlighting them, supporting them, clothing them in the gear–all of it. It’s amazing to watch a business, no matter the na-sayers who claim it’s about publicity, or tax right offs, or blah blah blah–
listen, when you’ve got the disease, then come to me with your complaints. But I bet you won’t complain–you’ll just be grateful, like I am, that somebody gives a damn about you and your horrific, mind-blowing, life-changing and maybe life-ending experience.
So here’s what bums me out: not a one of them is without breasts and showing themselves as such. You know what that says to me? It says that breasts are way too important.
I have nothing–NOTHING–against reconstruction, or prosthetics. I’m just saying that presenting yourself as with breasts, even when you’re not, is not the only answer.
When I thought about putting fake breasts back into the place where my real breasts–one of which had cancer and one that didn’t–were, I was put into the awful position of “what if I have no breasts? What am I then? Am I still sexy? Am I still a woman?” And after 4 terrible, stomach churning, put-this-marriage-to-the-test days, my hero-of-a husband and I decided I would still be amazing without boobs. I would still be female, still beautiful and (gasp) sexy, despite what breast cancer wanted to steal from me. And I am proud of that decision–though not altogether understood by the world around me for making it.
After a few months of living without breasts, and trying prosthetics, I felt like a phony. I felt like I was misrepresenting me. I had breast cancer, my breasts had to go–and putting on fake boobs was like a bad costume party in my mind; and it made me feel bad. So I dumped them. For 8 years I’ve lived as is–no breasts, no bumps, but plenty of life.
In a video like this, what would have amazing impact to me is seeing a woman–or more than one woman—who chose to not have reconstruction and doesn’t wear fake breasts. I am not saying me. I am just saying someone. Someone who says, “hey society, guess what? I love myself, as does my husband, and I have NO BOOBS. How bout that,society?”
I am not saying all people should make my decision; I am saying that many of us out here do. We make a hard, horrible decision that less is more, as the saying goes–especially in the face of chemotherapy, radiation, mastectomy surgery, recovery, and all the pills you have to take for the next 5 years to keep breast cancer at bay. It’s not always about reconstruction or fake breasts after breast cancer. It’s about living.
So next year I hope somebody chooses to submit themselves into the casting call for this fantastic, formidable, film-worthy video support in the fight against breast cancer who has no breasts and doesn’t use prosthetics. There are many of us out there, fighting after their first battle, after their second round–or in my case, after it’s jumped the fence and gone into other organs (metastatic)–and we are ALL FIGHTERS. We are proud, we are pumping iron, we are praying to live through this devastating illness…
..even those of us with a few less body parts to fight with.
- See more at: http://www.projectpinkdiary.com/2012/05/anns-diary-breast-and-breastless-cancer-heroes/#sthash.FEgOaFnU.dpuf
Monday, January 5, 2015
A Society of Boobless Women
For every woman in the public eye that is diagnosed and makes her story known, there are hundreds even thousands of other women who find out they have breast cancer but never share their news openly with anyone other than friends or family. The public figures, like Patricia Nixon (from Sex and the City), Kathy Bates, Hota Kotb, Lynn Redgrave, Nancy Reagan, just to name a few, help viewers understand the tragedy of breast cancer and that's a good thing; but what about all those "unknown" women who gain no notoriety other than being someone's wife, mother, or friend? The more and more I see and hear of newly diagnosed women, the more I can't help but wonder if one day we're going to have a totally boobless society of women.
What is causing these massive amounts of breast cancer? It has to be something that all of us have in common...something we do every day, something we use every day, something we smell or taste or touch. Once there were concerns with deodorant - that the Aluminum contained in those products could increase the risk of breast cancer. The aluminum works by closing or blocking pores but where does the aluminum go once rolled or sprayed or rubbed on? There's also been concern over the use of hair dyes in women, sugar, food preservatives, genetics, smoking, and the list goes on and on.
To date, no one has found the real cause of breast cancer and therefore, women remain at risk. But, women aren't the only ones who can get breast cancer, surprisingly men can too! I was in the waiting room at my breast surgeon's office for a post surgical appointment several months ago when I noticed a rather large man come into the office. He was with his wife, a tiny slip of a thing, and I assumed she was the patient (you know what they say about assuming don't you...) until I noticed the JP drain tube sticking out of his shirt sleeve. (A JP drain, for those of you who haven't experienced breast surgery, is a type of drain bulb that allows fluid and blood to collect from the surgical wound site. The fluids travel down a clear plastic tubing and are deposited in a clear, grenade looking bulb.) I was so surprised to see the tube and the expression on my face reflected what the other women in the waiting room were hiding in their thoughts. A few minutes later, I heard the man explaining to someone in the waiting room that he'd just had a mastectomy. I had no idea that men got mastectomies too! With women, it's become pretty commonplace but men? Wow! I imagine that was a hard thing for his wife to grasp. I also imagine it was even harder for this big, burly man to have to call in to work and tell them that he had breast cancer and was going to have to have some time off for surgery. I'm sure he was the brunt of many tasteless jokes in the break room while he was gone.
I am very concerned. I am concerned not only about our society of beautiful women, but I'm concerned about my daughters and my granddaughters. I don't want any of them to ever experience the trauma of having to have a mastectomy done. So what are we to do, to keep our sweet girls from becoming statistics in a society of boobless women? The only thing I can recommend is for all of us to become proactive. We need to protect our boobs and the best way to protect them is to check them on a monthly basis.
It's so important for women of all ages to know the proper way to perform a breast self exam. I just recently sent out breast self exam door hangers to my daughters and closest friends. It was a laminated instruction card that provided very detailed and clear instructions on how to properly examine your breasts. It also had little monthly punch out circles along the bottom of the card so you could keep a record of which months you'd completed. I hope, when they received it, they understood my concern. Breast surgery is extremely painful and difficult. I don't ever want any of my family or friends to go through it.
So let's do everything we can to stop the madness! We don't want our girls to grow up in a society of boobless women. God made women with breasts to nourish and feed their children, along with many other reasons. We need to protect ourselves by becoming knowledgeable. I keep on praying that one day soon, one of the amazing scientists out there will discover the real cause behind these massive cases of breast cancer, but until they do, we need to start a campaign to SAVE THE TATAS.
Can you imagine how a society of boobless women would effect our world? While breast cancer is prevalent in many countries, it seems America has more than it's fair share of patients. There has to be a better way to deal with breast cancer - a better way than just loping them off. Sure, many women are able to get lumpectomies instead of having radical surgery but many of those women end up having more surgeries later down the road and often end up with a mastectomy anyway.
Please be informed. Please read articles on breast cancer research. Please do monthly self exams and if you do find something, PLEASE see a doctor immediately. You are your own best health advocate. You have to fight to make sure you get the care you deserve. If you find a lump and the doctor says, oh, let's watch it...it's nothing to worry about...don't settle for that! Demand more testing be done. Demand a biopsy even if the mammogram looks okay. If you feel in your gut that something is not quite right, it probably isn't. Stand up for yourself!
I'll step down off my soapbox now but hopefully you see my point. If we don't wake up and do something, we ARE going to have a society of BOOBLESS women. No one wants that, do they?
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
How to do a breast self exam
Do antiperspirants cause breast cancer in women?
Here are some startling statistics for you from the BreastCancer.org website:
***these were recorded in September 2014***
- About 1 in 8 U.S. women (about 12%) will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime.
- In 2014, an estimated 232,670 new cases of invasive breast cancer were expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S., along with 62,570 new cases of non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer.
- About 2,360 new cases of invasive breast cancer were expected to be diagnosed in men in 2014. A man’s lifetime risk of breast cancer is about 1 in 1,000.
- About 40,000 women in the U.S. were expected to die in 2014 from breast cancer, though death rates have been decreasing since 1989 — with larger decreases in women under 50. These decreases are thought to be the result of treatment advances, earlier detection through screening, and increased awareness.
- For women in the U.S., breast cancer death rates are higher than those for any other cancer, besides lung cancer.
- Besides skin cancer, breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among American women. Just under 30% of cancers in women are breast cancers.
- White women are slightly more likely to develop breast cancer than African-American women. However, in women under 45, breast cancer is more common in African-American women than white women. Overall, African-American women are more likely to die of breast cancer. Asian, Hispanic, and Native-American women have a lower risk of developing and dying from breast cancer.
- In 2014, there were more than 2.8 million women with a history of breast cancer in the U.S. This includes women currently being treated and women who have finished treatment.
- A woman’s risk of breast cancer approximately doubles if she has a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. About 15% of women who get breast cancer have a family member diagnosed with it.
- About 5-10% of breast cancers can be linked to gene mutations (abnormal changes) inherited from one’s mother or father. Mutations of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes are the most common. Women with a BRCA1 mutation have a 55-65% risk of developing breast cancer before age 70, and often at a younger age that it typically develops. For women with a BRCA2 mutation, this risk is 45%. An increased ovarian cancer risk is also associated with these genetic mutations. In men, BRCA2 mutations are associated with a lifetime breast cancer risk of about 6%; BRCA1 mutations are a less frequent cause of breast cancer in men.
- About 85% of breast cancers occur in women who have no family history of breast cancer. These occur due to genetic mutations that happen as a result of the aging process and life in general, rather than inherited mutations.
- The most significant risk factors for breast cancer are gender (being a woman) and age (growing older).
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