My husband knows I'm a worrywart. Although I try not to be, it just comes naturally to me. That's one area of my life that God is continually working on and I have to say, this year, He's almost gotten me to the point of releasing that sin totally to Him. Phil has helped in this area of my life, too. He's a protector and a great provider. Whenever he sees me stressing over the most recent medical bill that has arrived in the mail, he gently takes it from my hand and says, "let me worry about that."
We have a wicker basket where we keep all of our bills. Each month, I go in and organize them according to due dates. I like being organized and I like knowing what lies ahead, but Phil has told me to leave them alone. He knows they weigh heavily on my heart. He knows they stress me out. We used to pay the bills together but since I've been so sick, he's completely taken over that chore. He won't admit it, but I know when he sees that stack of bills growing, it must overwhelm him as much as it does me.
It's amazing how much things cost these days! Surgical expenses rival the price of a new car! It seems everyone wants a piece of the pie...each lab tech, each xray, each bandaid, come with an exorbitant price tag attached. We are blessed to have medical insurance through my husband's company and thank God for that! We know there are so many who have no insurance and no ability to pay their medical bills. It would be devastating to be in that position.
It is unnerving to watch the thousands of dollars in medical bills add up, but we know God already knew we'd face this challenge long before we were aware of it...and if He knew this was coming our way, surely He's already made a plan for us to be able to take care of it. God has been teaching us more and more about trusting Him completely throughout this Cancer challenge. He's already proven He is Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals. He has already proven that He is El Roi, the God who sees us and knows everything about us. He is proving now that He is Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides. He knows our needs and He provides for them as they come and as He sees fit.
We are so thankful that Phil has a steady job. He's worked there for almost 30 years. It isn't an easy job, in fact, it's very physical. He works in a big warehouse making metal frames and doors all day long. He comes home hot and tired and sweaty. His feet hurt all the time from standing 10 hours a day...yes, 10. He works Monday through Saturday every week to help make ends meet. He knows we need the extra money to pay off all these medical bills. Does he ever complain? No. He does what needs to be done. Does he get tired? Yes! He will be 60 in just a couple of weeks. His body is not as spry as it used to be. His stamina has waned over the years. But he is dedicated. He is loyal. He is a good provider and he works very hard. He loves me and I am so blessed to have him in my life! So when he tells me not to worry about the mounting bills, I can't help but listen. I trust him and I know he's doing the best he can to make ends meet. We don't drive fancy cars, we don't take exorbitant trips, we don't eat out often...we are the typical middle class family doing the best we can with what we have and we are barely getting by. But, God always provides! We may eat hotdogs once a week instead of a steak dinner but that's okay. We're thankful to have food on the table. There are so many less fortunate than we are so please don't misunderstand. We aren't complaining, just sharing the truth of our reality.
Cancer or any other debilitating illness can sneak into your life when you least expect it, and when it does, your life will change in more ways than you can imagine. Our lives have changed drastically! But we are thankful we have a God who has everything worked out. We are thankful that even though we can't see what's coming around the bend, He can! We are thankful that He is trustworthy and true! Yes, we have a giant stack of medical bills in our little wicker basket but we know He will make a way for us to pay them. And even if it takes us years and years to get it done, it will get done. So today, I encourage you to be thankful for your health. Be thankful for your family. Be thankful you have a roof over your head and food on your table. Be thankful that God has given you life! So often we take all these things for granted, but when you venture into the world of health problems, you begin to see things a little more clearly. You understand what's really important in your life and material things are definitely not at the top of that list. Just being able to wake up and get out of bed by yourself is the highlight of your day.
I hope you hear me loud and clear through this post, Cancer is mean and ugly. It comes to devastate lives. Some people choose to allow it to blanket them with fear and smother them slowly. Others choose to fight it with every ounce of their being, rising above it and becoming victorious! The difference between these two types of people is hope, and where does hope come from...it comes from God. Those who know God and trust Him are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They are the ones who pass through the valley of Cancer knowing it is but a temporary disturbance in their lives meant for whatever purpose God has planned it. I choose to look at my life THAT way. That is why I am so thankful I know Jesus as my Lord and Savior! Without Him, I would be a basket case and that little wicker bill holder would be my undoing.
The Bible tell us not to worry in several verses. I use these daily to help me overcome my habit of worrying. I also try to remember what my grandmother used to say..."worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere." Hopefully you will never have to face a terrible illness or disease, but if you do, remember you are not alone and there is hope. We have a loving and caring God who can even use illness or disease to bring about good in our lives. It may not seem like it at the time we're going through it, but when we look back and see what He was doing in our lives, we will be able to see clearly that He had a plan to work things out for our benefit and for His glory. Mountains of medical bills may seem insurmountable, but one by one...they are just little hills we will climb. Thank God for my sweet husband who has chosen to bear the weight of these bills on his shoulders but he doesn't bear them alone, for God undergirds him and gives His strength daily to press on. We are so blessed and so very thankful to serve a mighty and awesome God!
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt 6:34 NIV
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 1 Peter 5:7-10 NLT
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22 NIV
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 NIV
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7 NIV
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