Flying boobs

Well, today was an interesting day. Early this morning, I had a doctor's appointment. It was time for my yearly physical so I was thankful I wasn't going to another "-ologist." Since my husband and I had our appointments back to back, I figured what the heck, I don't even think I'm going to put my boobs on today. I'm finding that I'm getting more and more comfortable without them as long as I have a print blouse on that camouflages my flat chestedness just a little. So we jumped in the car and got on the road. When we arrived at the medical complex, there was only one other car in the parking lot. So far, so good. I didn't have to worry about hiding my chest.

Walking into the building, I was enjoying the cool breeze blowing through my hair. The weather had changed since yesterday and was cool enough for a jacket. Once inside the building, hubby and I chatted while waiting for the elevator to come down.

The waiting room was empty as we entered. We were the first ones at the desk and quickly got registered and seated. Soon we were each being called back for our appointments. I was taken back first and Phil waited to be called a few minutes later. The doctor diagnosed both of us with upper respiratory infections and prescribed medications. Next, we headed to the lab.

At the lab, I waited to be called back for blood work. I always have to remind the nurses they can't stick me anywhere but in my left hand and the tourniquet has to be placed near my wrist. They always look at me like I'm crazy until I explain that I have Lymphedema and that I've had both breasts removed as well as 6 Lymph nodes. You'd think they'd make a note of this in my chart since I've been to this same lab several times already, but they don't.

Finally we were done at the doctor's office and now it was time to find a quick place for breakfast. Fasting for blood work isn't fun when you're used to eating breakfast very early in the morning and we were both starving! Directly across the street from the doctor's office was another medical building that housed a small cafe. We grabbed some breakfast sandwiches and coffee and talked about our next appointment of the day.

After breakfast, we sped back to the house to change clothes for our next appointment. This one was much more important than the doctor's visit. Since we'd be going to downtown Atlanta, I decided to dress up a little and felt the need to wear my boobs. A high class office park would be full of business men and women. I didn't want to look like a frump, so I donned my camisole with the polyester fiberfill "poufs." They were so much lighter than the silicone breasts and I felt much more comfortable in them.

When we pulled out of the driveway, I glanced down at my chest. My boobs had migrated to the center of my chest and formed a "uniboob." I carefully separated the girls and patted them into position while I whispered, "stay" to them. On we drove and about twenty minutes later, I felt them rising up along my chest. They were just under my chin now. I told my husband that my boobs wouldn't stay put. He laughed and said, "take them off." So, I began trying to finagle the polyester forms out of the camisole without taking off my shirt.

After a lot of work, I finally got one of the boobs out. I was so glad! Now for the other one. The one on the left hand side was more difficult and try as I might, I couldn't get it out. We were driving down the road and I was lifting my shirt up trying to get the boob out. It was stuck on something! I asked my hubby if he could help but he said he couldn't because traffic was heavy and he had to keep his eyes on the road. I continued to pull and yank and tug. Finally, I was able to get the fiberfill form free of the camisole. I lay the two breast forms in the center of our captain's chairs and we drove on.

When we arrived at the office park, we had to valet park because there were no free parking spaces anywhere. I looked at my husband and said, "what am I going to do with my boobs?! I don't want the valet to see them!" He told me to hide them and I asked where. He said, "throw them in the back of the van!" So as we were pulling into the office park and circling into the valet parking area, I was madly pitching my boobs into the back of the van. The first one flew into the cargo hold perfectly, but the other one hit the window and bounced into the back seat. I scrambled to grab it and ditch it just as the valet came up to the window. Whew! Thankfully he didn't see them!

As we exited our car, a gust of cold wind blew into my face. I grabbed my jacket and held it up to my chest, not realizing I could have easily slipped it on. As we entered the building, I was clutching the jacket to my chest. I guess subconsciously I was trying to hide my booblessness from the elite business people walking to and fro in the common area.  At the base of the elevator, a huge smile came across my face. I couldn't help thinking about my flying boobs and wondering if the car behind us had seen those unidentified flying objects being hurled across the interior of our car. I wondered what in the world they must have thought if they did see me flinging something into the air. Flying boobs...what a concept!

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