Learning to accept my physical limitations

Boy, cancer has taught me many things over the last year and it continues to teach me even today. The lessons aren't always pleasant or easy, but they are valuable. My current lesson is learning how to face and accept my physical limitations.

Yesterday, I decided to reupholster my dining room chairs. Although I'd only had them a year, the original fabric was showing some signs of wear. Since I'm always looking for a new project to do,
voilà! So, I headed to the fabric store in search of the perfect material.

Perusing the aisles, I found a beautiful olive green upholstery fabric that would match the green in my Persian wool rug. I was thankful the material was on sale, because the original price tag indicated it was $49.99 a yard! The current sale listed the fabric at 50% off! Since  the upholstery fabric was almost 5 feet wide, I only needed 2 yards to cover 6 chairs. At the counter, when I went to check out, the store manager saw me frantically searching my cell phone for a coupon. She told me if I visited their website, I'd find an additional "20% off your entire purchase" coupon available. I snatched that coupon in a hurry and saved a whopping 70% off my fabric...WOOHOO! 

When I got home, I couldn't wait to get started on my project. I asked my husband if he'd help by taking the seats out of the chairs for me. I knew I wasn't going to be able to twist and turn the screwdriver to remove all the screws in 6 chairs. He was so sweet to help and had the chair bottoms removed in a flash. 

Taking the huge bolt of fabric, my husband helped me lay the fabric out on the living room floor. It was the only place I could think of to maneuver, measure, and cut. I took the first seat and lay it on the upholstery fabric measuring the length and width carefully. Next, I began cutting 6 pieces of fabric. After I had all the fabric pieces completed, I began to work on the first chair. 

Reupholstering chair seats is fairly easy. I've done it many times before and planned to complete all 6 chairs in just an hour or so. A staple gun helped make the work quick but as I began pulling and tugging on the fabric to stretch it into place, I realized it wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. It was challenging to press down hard on the end of the staple gun while holding the thick upholstery fabric in place. The first several shots were misfires...the staples either didn't go in all the way or were bent. It was going to take a lot more pressure to get them in properly, so I kneeled over and put as much weight as I could on the end of the gun. Pressing more firmly allowed the staples to penetrate the fabric more easily. 

I worked for about 30 minutes on the first seat. I found myself struggling to get through it. My arms were swelling quickly and I just didn't have the strength to continue. I took a break and rested. It was so frustrating to realize I just didn't have the ability to do the things I used to do. I felt like a weakling...a failure. I shouldn't have to be resting after only working on one seat cushion. 

Talking with my husband, I shared my disappointment. He reassured me that I would get the project done eventually. I might not get all the chair cushions covered in one day, like I had planned, but I could do one or two. 

I'm a type A personality so I like to finish things I start and finish them quickly. I have a hard time admitting defeat. I didn't like having to take a break and prop my arms up to reduce the swelling. I felt like a spoiled rotten little kid who didn't get her way. I wanted to stamp my feet and shout, "no fair!" Instead, I sat in my recliner, with pillows under each arm, until the swelling went down. As soon as it did, I got back down on the floor to complete another chair. 

It wasn't easy to accept the defeat of not completing the entire set of chairs in one day, but at least I got two covered. My husband screwed the seats back into place and we both sat back to marvel at how nice they looked. I was pleased with my work and although I would have preferred to have been looking at 6 completed chairs, 2 was okay for today. I knew I had done all I could do. I couldn't have done more even if I'd pushed myself. My body was worn out. 

I'm making progress! Slowly, but surely, I'm realizing I have to make concessions and listen to my body. I'll admit, sometimes I don't like it. I know it isn't wise to press beyond my limitations. I've learned what happens when I do that and I always suffer afterwards. I'd rather take things a little slower and make steady progress than cause myself undue pain. I guess that's a sign of maturity and it's high time I grow up a little, even if I don't really want to!

© bonnie annis all rights reserved