A load lightened

June 7, 2014

Today I decided to let my friends and family know about my diagnosis. Of course, the fastest and easiest way to let many know all at once is through social media so I posted one of my favorite quotations as well as my diagnosis on Facebook. The quotation really spoke to my heart because it speaks the truth of who God is...""God allows in His wisdom that which He could easily prevent by His power"~ Graham Cooke. I'm sure many, when first diagnosed with Cancer, take the attitude "why me?" but really we should be asking ourselves "why NOT me?" In the book of Matthew, the Bible tells us "He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." (Matthew 5:45) So I can accept my diagnosis knowing that God has allowed it to trickle through the fingers of His mighty hand and come into my life for purposes only He knows.

I feel a little lighter now that I've shared my news with my family and friends. Most of them have been very supportive and have given me wonderful words of encouragement and to those, I am very grateful. A few have criticized me for announcing that I have Cancer over the internet but in today's world, that's just the way we communicate.

The mail brought confirmation of my diagnosis today in the form of the printed copy of the pathology report. It makes it all very real when you see it in black and white. The internet tells me that 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with some form of Breast Cancer. Those are scary statistics. It also states that 80% of women will receive the same diagnosis that I did, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. So apparently, I'm in the majority...YAY!

I've been experiencing a good deal of pain today. I'm not sure if it's from the vacuum core biopsy that I had done earlier this week or if it's just the Cancer growing. Sometimes I feel like I have an alien being in my body (I guess I've watched too much TV in my lifetime) and I just want to get it out of me! Just thinking about surgery scares me. I don't do well with pain. I'm trying to realistic and face what I know is coming but I don't want to have to face it.

My husband has been doting on me since I received the news and today my youngest daughter has come to visit. I see her out of the corner of her eye looking at me. I know what she's thinking...she's wondering what the future holds for me. Little does she know that I wonder that too. ©Bonnie Annis all rights reserved