Patient in affliction

Oh how wonderful it was to sleep late this morning. Just knowing I didn't have to get up and get ready for radiation was a huge blessing. Finally my skin could begin to heal and I hoped it would hurry up, because it's really gotten bad over the last few weeks. The burns on my neck are much more painful right now than the ones on my chest. (Did you catch that...I just said, I hoped it would hurry up...)

As I started to get out of bed, I heard this scripture in my mind -

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Romans 12:12

Be patient in affliction...patient. BE patient. BE PATIENT IN AFFLICTION. Okay, Lord. What are You telling me here? Have I not been patient over the last several months of treatment? Have I been impatient? As I continued to seek Him, He continued to impress upon my mind the need to be patient. 

As a believer, I know my life will be filled with various trials. In fact, it's a given. His Word tells me in the book of 1 Peter that I shouldn't be surprised when I face trials that come to test me. But my response to the affliction or trial is a clear indicator of the depth of my love for God. This was really disheartening to me to realize because my response to affliction, trials, and difficult days was not a response that often pleased the Lord. More often than not, I found myself complaining. When I was in pain, I didn't respond first with a calmness and a patient heart...I griped and complained. After all, isn't that our nature as humans? We want others to share in our suffering? We want them to know and understand the intensity of our pain? We moan and groan hoping for sympathy. That was not the epitome of patience. Patience is long suffering. Patience waits in surrender. Patience. Did I even have any?

As I thought about how I should respond to afflictions, my thoughts turned toward 2 men in the Old Testament.  Job, of course, immediately came into my thoughts.  He is known for his patience during unbelievable circumstances. I've written about him in my posts before. Whenever a Christian experiences suffering, 9 times out of 10, solace can be found by studying the book of Job. Job must have been an amazingly strong man of faith. He lost his children, his livestock, his health and yet he never cursed God.  Scripture tells us that Job was “blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil.”  He was not a bad person, he loved God and lived his life to God’s glory.  So when his life fell apart, if anyone had a reason to say, “I don’t deserve this, this is not fair!  It was Job.  But, he didn’t do that.  He knew that his God loved him deeply and even if he never gained back all that he'd lost, he would always love his God.  Do I love that deeply?  Can I be as patient as Job?  Can I say, “If you take it all away, I will still love you and live for you?"  I really can’t honestly answer that.  I would like to think that I could, but I don’t know.  I know that my family has lost things that we once thought were "great," but looking back, we realized they were not so "great."  So there was really no loss.  Job experienced great loss and yet he remained patient in his affliction and God restored all that he had lost and blessed him twice as much.

Next I began to think about Joseph, the 11th son of Jacob.  His brothers were very jealous of him as he held the favor of his father.  They sold him into slavery where he ended up in Egypt.  His father Jacob was a godly man.  Though his sons were not as upright as Jacob, God still used them to build Israel.  But God set Joseph apart from the rest in order to fulfill a very special plan.  After Joseph had been sold into slavery he was sent to be a servant in the house of the Captain of the guard.  This was a great start for Joseph, until Potiphar's wife decided she wanted him for herself.  She was a very deceptive woman and had the trust of her husband.  She lied to him saying that Joseph tried to take her to bed and Joseph was sent to prison.  He stayed there for 2 years.  Genesis 39:21 says, “while Joseph was in prison, the Lord showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden.”  It says over and over that the Lord was with Joseph…in prison. So, I began to think...if I were Joseph, I would just want out of there.  I would never want to remain in prison, even if I had a fantastic job. I don't think I would have exhibited any patience! I would want out! But, Joseph never asked God to get him out of prison even though he was there for 2 long years. He had a lot of time to think about himself and about God.  He was stuck in a pagan land and his God was all he had.  He could either believe that his God would deliver him, or he could lose all hope.  He could be patient in his affliction or he could try to figure things out himself.

The deeper my walk with Christ, the more aware I am of the reality that no matter the reason for the affliction, my patience and trust in the midst of it teaches me more about the greatness of God than anything else.  Learning to embrace my suffering rather than trying to run away from it brings me into a deeper understanding of the sovereignty of God. I am blessed when I am patient in my afflictions. I experience God in ways that I would not if I did not choose this response.  I am loved by the faithful God of Job and Joseph...the God who never left them, but prospered them because of their trust and love.

I'm not always patient in my afflictions but I'm trying.   Lord forgive me for wanting instant relief from my pain. Help me in my weaknesses! Help me keep my heart searching for Your truth and Your hope. Oh how I long to be joyful in hope and patient in my affliction. Thank you for always loving me even when I struggle to be patient. Help me to remember you have a purpose for allowing me to suffer...that You have chosen to allow this for my own good. Father, thank you for always being strong when I am so very weak. Thank you for loving me through good times and through difficult times. You are so gracious and so merciful toward me even when I don't deserve it. Thank you, most of all, for sending your Son, Jesus, to suffer and die for me...just to partake in a tiny portion of His sufferings helps me understand the magnitude of the great sacrifice He made for me.

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