In 2009, I had the wonderful opportunity to go to China on a mission trip. I'd never been out of the country in my life, so this was going to be a wonderful adventure. There were so many things I was looking forward to experiencing...the people, the culture, the sights and sounds...everything would be a new and exciting memory.
After arriving in the country and getting acclimated for a few days, I felt more at ease. Amid our busy days of service teaching Chinese students English as a second language, our team leader and host missionaries planned small sight seeing trips. One of the trips took us to Gulangyu Island where we were able to meet the owner of Pearl World, a small shop specializing in pearl jewelry. The pearls were collected daily by local divers and the owner of the shop made the pearls into beautiful necklaces, bracelets, and rings. I enjoyed talking with the owner and learning how the pearls are formed.
She explained that pearls are produced
when a foreign object enters an oyster's shell. It usually
begins forming around a grain of sand or an egg of some parasite that
invaded the oyster. The oyster protects itself by layering the irritant
with nacre—mother-of-pearl—until, out of pain and suffering, it forms an
object of great beauty. The offending particle actually becomes a gem
of great worth!
Today, as I was rummaging through my dresser drawers, I came across a little black velvet bag. I knew immediately what the bag contained...my pearls. I took them out of their protective casing and held them in my hand. They were so smooth, so round, so white. As I fingered the pearls, I couldn't help but wonder how the oyster could take something that was meant to cause irritation and transform it into something so beautiful. I wondered if I could relate to cancer the same way.
Perhaps I'll never know why God allowed cancer into my life but surely it was for my benefit. Perhaps He wanted me to understand that although it was a constant source of irritation, something of great beauty would come of it one day. Could I layer my suffering like the oyster had to create a product of great worth? No. Could God do it? Yes!
Daily I struggle and am reminded of the irritation of the effects cancer has had in my life. But instead of focusing on the irritant, I want to focus on the layers that God is applying over it. One of the first layers I've seen is the layer of peace. Things that normally would cause me worry or concern are gone and have been replaced with God's inexplicable peace. Another layer I'm seeing is the layer of love. In the past, although love has always been present, it wasn't as unconditional as it is now. I am finding I am able to see things through God's eyes...through His love...instead of through my own earthly eyes. Another layer I see growing is the layer of hope. God has been applying His truths to my injury and is smoothing out the rough edges. I have a feeling the next layer to come will be the layer of joy! Layer upon layer, a precious gem is built and who, in looking at the precious pearl, would ever know that it all began with something so painful?
As I slipped the strand of pearls back into the velvet bag, I offered a silent prayer of thanks to God for the miracle of healing. Although it hasn't been easy, I know He's layering His love all over my pain and making it into something of great worth. Cancer will constantly be a reminder of a huge struggle in my life but God's layering of peace, love, hope, and joy will make the ugliness of the struggle beautiful.
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
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