Tuesday I had my six month check up with my Oncologist. We sat and talked for a while about how I've been feeling before he broached the subject of medication. I was really hoping he'd just forget about it, but that was just wishful thinking.
Dr. "F" explained that I had to be on medication because my cancer was fed by Estrogen and Progesterone. He said, "if we can't keep those hormones in check, the cancer will return and grow somewhere else in your body so it's important that we stay on top of it." I'd already been on Arimidex and Tamoxifen, so I wondered what he was going to recommend now.
We talked about the differences between the way Tamoxifen and aromatase inhibitors work. Dr. "F" explained that Tamoxifen doesn't actually block the production of Estrogen in your body, it only binds to it and slows it down. Arimidex and other aromatase inhibitors block the production of Estrogen. Since Arimidex gave me such dreadful joint and bone pain, he didn't want me on that drug any longer. Tamoxifen was a nightmare for me, giving me crazy hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and a lot of other unacceptable symptoms.
I'm glad Dr. "F" was sympathetic toward me. He said, "I really want you to have a good quality of life." Gee thanks, doc! I want a good quality of life too. So what's the plan? He's going to try me on another aromatase inhibitor called Aromasin and he's going to add a drug called Effexor along with it. Effexor, although known as an antidepressant, is one of the only known drugs that eases and almost eliminates the dreaded hot flashes and night sweats. I'm going to be on a very low dose of it at first and then he'll adjust it as we see how it affects my body.
The good news is, I get to wait to start taking the new meds until I return from my trip to Texas! I'm so happy about that. Having one month of feeling semi normal is a gift I can't even begin to explain to you. I do worry a little about the time I'll be off meds however; I can't help but wonder if those nasty cancer cells are playing hide and seek somewhere in my body. But instead of focusing on that, I'm going to just be thankful I have one month without any weird side effects!
It's amazing how just being off of the medication for a few days has changed me physically. I actually FEEL GOOD. I haven't felt good since early March of last year before I discovered the mass in my breast. It feels good to feel good. I've missed it! I feel so good, that I've started doing things that I love again.
Health is something most people take for granted but when you don't have good health, your world turns upside down. I am grateful for medications that will help prolong my life, but I sure wish I never had to take any of them. I'm going to enjoy every single day of my month's worth of freedom and I'm going to hope for very minimal side effects from the new medication I'll start near the end of February. Let's hope this new one will be a good fit. Dr. "F" told me, at my office visit, that this was our last option but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Today is a good day and I am very thankful to be me and actually feel like myself for a change.
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
Showing posts with label Tamoxifen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tamoxifen. Show all posts
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Friday, January 23, 2015
A week in the life...
It's almost the end of January and it's been a little over six months since my surgery. It doesn't seem like it's been that long, and I even had to double check the calendar to confirm the reality of that fact. During the past six months, I've been through an awful lot and I continue to have daily trials. It may seem like all I do on this blog is complain, but believe me, that's not my intention. Cancer is tough and that's a huge understatement. Hopefully, you'll allow me to share my difficulties without being judgmental. My purpose in sharing is to give you, the reader, a very clear and realistic picture of what life as a victim of cancer is really like. If you weren't interested, you wouldn't be reading my blog, now would you? So let me tell you what the past few days have been like for me.
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday:
These were pretty rough days all around. Tamoxifen has been totally messing with my mind, my body and my spirit. The side effects continue to be a challenge. My main problem is being unable to sleep. Sleeping pills, both prescribed and natural, work for an hour or two and then don't. I toss and turn all night long and have started sleeping in the guest room so I won't disturb my husband. As I lay in bed trying to sleep, I start sweating profusely...night sweats, another side effect of the medication. I change clothes several times a night because of them.
During the day, I have hot flashes. They sneak up on me when I least expect it. For example, Monday I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. I was feeling perfectly fine one minute and the next, I felt like Mt. Vesuvius had erupted inside my body. I was so hot, I had to take off my shirt and start fanning myself. I am a cold natured person. I rarely ever get warm because I have no thyroid gland to regulate my body temperature like normal people do. Sure, I take synthetic thyroid replacement hormones, but even they don't keep my body temp at normal. My normal temp is 97.1 or lower while most normal people register a lovely 98.6. So when I get a hot flash, I mean it's HOT. The hot flashes come and go, thank goodness they don't stick around for more than about thirty minutes at a time.
I had several emotional meltdowns. Poor Phil! He tried so hard to comfort me and he is so sweet! He would look over at me and see the tears welling up in my eyes and immediately come over to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. The meltdowns start out small and then escalate. I don't have to be thinking about anything in particular and the tears just start flowing. I'm sure it's the medication because I'm normally a happy go lucky person. Feelings of hopelessness and despair overcome me and I feel like I'm losing it. I tell Phil I can't take it any more and that I'm going to stop taking the Tamoxifen. I don't like feeling out of control.
I also don't like the yeast infection that has suddenly appeared...another medication side effect. Tamoxifen messes with your body's Estrogen levels and that throws everything else out of whack. So I began drinking Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar and got some over the counter meds from the drugstore that should help fix the problem.
Thursday:
I call my oncologist's office to tell them Tamoxifen is messing me up big time. While I'm talking to the nurse, I burst into tears. She consoles me and tells me it's going to be okay. She says she'll talk to the doctor and call me back. Later that afternoon, I get the callback. The nurse tells me that my doc wants me to stop taking Tamoxifen. I didn't dare tell her I already did! She says we'll discuss new medications at my appointment next week. I hang up the phone relieved that I now have official approval to stop Tamoxifen.
By Thursday evening, I'm starting to feel normal again...well, when I say normal, I mean pretty much my usual self B.C. (before cancer). I enjoy the evening without any meltdowns, hot flashes, or night sweats. The yeast infection is still here and is very bothersome (another side effect of the medication) but I can handle that.
Friday:
I'm feeling much better and wonder if it is possible to not take any more medication. I want to ask my oncologist if this is a possibility, but I know the answer before I even ask the question. He'll tell me that we want to be sure and keep the cancer from recurring and in order to do that, I need to take medication. It sucks! I don't want to have to take medication for the next 5 to 10 years but I have no choice.
Although I'm feeling better physically, I don't feel great. I still have to deal with the lymphedema and now the yeast infection. There's no way to describe the discomfort I feel other than to do a little rant here so be prepared... I'm so sick and tired of having fat arms! My arms are so swollen that I can't wear hardly anything in my closet. My arms swell up and get so tight it feels like my skin is going to burst wide open and there's not a thing I can do about it other than wear the compression sleeves. So now, I have fat, swollen, hurting arms and a crotch that feels like it's on fire. But I really do feel better. At least I'm not crying about it! At least the emotional meltdowns are over! Now I just want to hit something!!!
And to top it off, I feel forgotten. There I said it. I didn't want to have a pity party here but I'm having a tiny one anyway. When I first was diagnosed, people I hadn't seen or talked to in years called or sent cards to let me know they were so sorry to hear my news. I felt so loved and cared about. For the past few months, not a single card or call have come in. I still need encouragement, even if it has been 6 months since my surgery. I am still struggling and I guess I will be for some time. Cancer is the gift that keeps on giving, as one of my fellow survivors says. You can't just forget about it and move on. It's always with you and the thoughts of recurrence are always in the back of your mind. No matter how hard you try, it's always there reminding you of its presence.
So you see, it's still a daily challenge. Oh yes, I'm thankful that I'm alive and I'm thankful every morning I wake up and see another day. I am so very grateful that I'm still here...but cancer is not easy...definitely not easy. But I keep fighting, it's all I have left and I won't give up even if I feel like I have no fight left in me...
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday:
These were pretty rough days all around. Tamoxifen has been totally messing with my mind, my body and my spirit. The side effects continue to be a challenge. My main problem is being unable to sleep. Sleeping pills, both prescribed and natural, work for an hour or two and then don't. I toss and turn all night long and have started sleeping in the guest room so I won't disturb my husband. As I lay in bed trying to sleep, I start sweating profusely...night sweats, another side effect of the medication. I change clothes several times a night because of them.
During the day, I have hot flashes. They sneak up on me when I least expect it. For example, Monday I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher. I was feeling perfectly fine one minute and the next, I felt like Mt. Vesuvius had erupted inside my body. I was so hot, I had to take off my shirt and start fanning myself. I am a cold natured person. I rarely ever get warm because I have no thyroid gland to regulate my body temperature like normal people do. Sure, I take synthetic thyroid replacement hormones, but even they don't keep my body temp at normal. My normal temp is 97.1 or lower while most normal people register a lovely 98.6. So when I get a hot flash, I mean it's HOT. The hot flashes come and go, thank goodness they don't stick around for more than about thirty minutes at a time.
I had several emotional meltdowns. Poor Phil! He tried so hard to comfort me and he is so sweet! He would look over at me and see the tears welling up in my eyes and immediately come over to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. The meltdowns start out small and then escalate. I don't have to be thinking about anything in particular and the tears just start flowing. I'm sure it's the medication because I'm normally a happy go lucky person. Feelings of hopelessness and despair overcome me and I feel like I'm losing it. I tell Phil I can't take it any more and that I'm going to stop taking the Tamoxifen. I don't like feeling out of control.
I also don't like the yeast infection that has suddenly appeared...another medication side effect. Tamoxifen messes with your body's Estrogen levels and that throws everything else out of whack. So I began drinking Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar and got some over the counter meds from the drugstore that should help fix the problem.
Thursday:
I call my oncologist's office to tell them Tamoxifen is messing me up big time. While I'm talking to the nurse, I burst into tears. She consoles me and tells me it's going to be okay. She says she'll talk to the doctor and call me back. Later that afternoon, I get the callback. The nurse tells me that my doc wants me to stop taking Tamoxifen. I didn't dare tell her I already did! She says we'll discuss new medications at my appointment next week. I hang up the phone relieved that I now have official approval to stop Tamoxifen.
By Thursday evening, I'm starting to feel normal again...well, when I say normal, I mean pretty much my usual self B.C. (before cancer). I enjoy the evening without any meltdowns, hot flashes, or night sweats. The yeast infection is still here and is very bothersome (another side effect of the medication) but I can handle that.
Friday:
I'm feeling much better and wonder if it is possible to not take any more medication. I want to ask my oncologist if this is a possibility, but I know the answer before I even ask the question. He'll tell me that we want to be sure and keep the cancer from recurring and in order to do that, I need to take medication. It sucks! I don't want to have to take medication for the next 5 to 10 years but I have no choice.
Although I'm feeling better physically, I don't feel great. I still have to deal with the lymphedema and now the yeast infection. There's no way to describe the discomfort I feel other than to do a little rant here so be prepared... I'm so sick and tired of having fat arms! My arms are so swollen that I can't wear hardly anything in my closet. My arms swell up and get so tight it feels like my skin is going to burst wide open and there's not a thing I can do about it other than wear the compression sleeves. So now, I have fat, swollen, hurting arms and a crotch that feels like it's on fire. But I really do feel better. At least I'm not crying about it! At least the emotional meltdowns are over! Now I just want to hit something!!!
And to top it off, I feel forgotten. There I said it. I didn't want to have a pity party here but I'm having a tiny one anyway. When I first was diagnosed, people I hadn't seen or talked to in years called or sent cards to let me know they were so sorry to hear my news. I felt so loved and cared about. For the past few months, not a single card or call have come in. I still need encouragement, even if it has been 6 months since my surgery. I am still struggling and I guess I will be for some time. Cancer is the gift that keeps on giving, as one of my fellow survivors says. You can't just forget about it and move on. It's always with you and the thoughts of recurrence are always in the back of your mind. No matter how hard you try, it's always there reminding you of its presence.
So you see, it's still a daily challenge. Oh yes, I'm thankful that I'm alive and I'm thankful every morning I wake up and see another day. I am so very grateful that I'm still here...but cancer is not easy...definitely not easy. But I keep fighting, it's all I have left and I won't give up even if I feel like I have no fight left in me...
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
What to do, what to do???
The Cancer saga continues and in today's episode, there's a dilemma. The dilemma is one that demands my utmost attention. Now what exactly is the dilemma you wonder? I can almost see you sitting on the edge of your seat, biting your nails thinking what is it? What is it? Well....let me tell you about my dilemma.
Before Christmas, the Oncologist started me on Arimidex, which is a fairly new cancer drug. It's listed as an aromatase inhibitor and is the preferred drug of choice for women who are post menopausal. I'm an obedient patient and I took the medication as instructed. I even endured weeks of funky side effects but then, after being as compliant as I could be, I'd had all I could stand. I contacted the doctor's office and told him Arimidex was definitely not for me. After explaining all of my symptoms to the doctor, he instructed me to go off the medication until December 27. Being the good girl that I am, I did exactly as I was told.
For most of the month of December, I felt normal...well, as normal as you can feel when you've experienced the trauma of breast cancer, surgery, and radiation...but I felt pretty much like myself. Oh, now and then I had some emotional challenges and shed tons of unexpected and unexplained tears, but I made it through the holidays pretty much unscathed.
On December 27, being the obedient one, I began taking Tamoxifen as the doctor ordered. The first few days, I only had a slight headache and thought, "hey, this isn't going to be so bad afterall!" As the days went by, the side effects increased. First it was insomnia, then hot flashes and night sweats, then it was an inability to think straight, and then depression. The symptoms kept compounding and getting worse.
Two days ago, I experienced another side effect from Tamoxifen...the dreaded yeast infection. Sorry. I know that's TMI (too much information) but I'm just trying to keep it real here. Any woman who's had a yeast infection knows it is NOT something minor. A yeast infection is enough to drive a sane person onto the brink of insanity. So...this compliant woman...this unusually obedient person...MOI...became very upset and frustrated. Back and forth, I argued with myself. Should I or should I not continue taking the Tamoxifen? After much deliberation and prayer, I have decided to stop taking Tamoxifen. Now hold on a minute! Don't get your panties in a wad! I did weigh out the options and yes, I have called the doctor and told him everything...in fact, I'm waiting for a callback from his office as I type. And no...the yeast infection wasn't what made me make my decision, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.
I don't know if my decision not to continue taking Tamoxifen is the perfect one, but I do know it's the right one for me. I can't keep going night after night with no sleep. I can't live my life in a state of drugged stupor where I can't even focus on mundane things. I won't trade my quality of life for my quantity of life...in fact, I know that nothing is going to detract one single minute of one single day from the specific amount of time God has allotted to me.
You might think I'm crazy, but I have a big faith. I know God is able to keep cancer cells from spreading throughout my body. I know He can completely heal me in an instant if He so chooses. I have a proven track record of His past answers to prayers for healing. I'm continuing to seek His will on this and if He guides me into trying another medication or type of treatment, I will obey. First and foremost, I always want to follow after my Savior. After all, He's the one who created me and He is the one who holds the minutes, hours, and days of my life in the palm of His hand. Who better to trust than Him?
Before Christmas, the Oncologist started me on Arimidex, which is a fairly new cancer drug. It's listed as an aromatase inhibitor and is the preferred drug of choice for women who are post menopausal. I'm an obedient patient and I took the medication as instructed. I even endured weeks of funky side effects but then, after being as compliant as I could be, I'd had all I could stand. I contacted the doctor's office and told him Arimidex was definitely not for me. After explaining all of my symptoms to the doctor, he instructed me to go off the medication until December 27. Being the good girl that I am, I did exactly as I was told.
For most of the month of December, I felt normal...well, as normal as you can feel when you've experienced the trauma of breast cancer, surgery, and radiation...but I felt pretty much like myself. Oh, now and then I had some emotional challenges and shed tons of unexpected and unexplained tears, but I made it through the holidays pretty much unscathed.
On December 27, being the obedient one, I began taking Tamoxifen as the doctor ordered. The first few days, I only had a slight headache and thought, "hey, this isn't going to be so bad afterall!" As the days went by, the side effects increased. First it was insomnia, then hot flashes and night sweats, then it was an inability to think straight, and then depression. The symptoms kept compounding and getting worse.
Two days ago, I experienced another side effect from Tamoxifen...the dreaded yeast infection. Sorry. I know that's TMI (too much information) but I'm just trying to keep it real here. Any woman who's had a yeast infection knows it is NOT something minor. A yeast infection is enough to drive a sane person onto the brink of insanity. So...this compliant woman...this unusually obedient person...MOI...became very upset and frustrated. Back and forth, I argued with myself. Should I or should I not continue taking the Tamoxifen? After much deliberation and prayer, I have decided to stop taking Tamoxifen. Now hold on a minute! Don't get your panties in a wad! I did weigh out the options and yes, I have called the doctor and told him everything...in fact, I'm waiting for a callback from his office as I type. And no...the yeast infection wasn't what made me make my decision, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak.
I don't know if my decision not to continue taking Tamoxifen is the perfect one, but I do know it's the right one for me. I can't keep going night after night with no sleep. I can't live my life in a state of drugged stupor where I can't even focus on mundane things. I won't trade my quality of life for my quantity of life...in fact, I know that nothing is going to detract one single minute of one single day from the specific amount of time God has allotted to me.
You might think I'm crazy, but I have a big faith. I know God is able to keep cancer cells from spreading throughout my body. I know He can completely heal me in an instant if He so chooses. I have a proven track record of His past answers to prayers for healing. I'm continuing to seek His will on this and if He guides me into trying another medication or type of treatment, I will obey. First and foremost, I always want to follow after my Savior. After all, He's the one who created me and He is the one who holds the minutes, hours, and days of my life in the palm of His hand. Who better to trust than Him?
Monday, January 19, 2015
This girl is on FIRE!
As cancer treatments go, Tamoxifen is a breeze, but a breeze that blows hot . . . like the Santa Ana winds. Compared to the pain and discomfort of surgery and radiation, a few hot flashes here and there are nothing to complain about. (For the sake of accuracy though, I will say that Tamoxifen does have other side-effects that are much more serious than hot flashes, some of which I am already experiencing. And then there are the ones that are much more rare, like blood clots, which I hope I never experience!)
Some people think that tamoxifen puts you into menopause, but that's not true. It simply causes menopause-like symptoms, such as hot flashes. It does reduce the production of estrogen, but does not stop it entirely. Tamoxifen is usually used for women who are pre-menopausal and aromatase inhibitors are usually used for post menopausal women. In my case, Arimidex, the aromatase inhibitor I was started on, was not tolerable at all so the doctor switched me to the old standby, Tamoxifen.
The first time I had a hot flash, I thought I was spontaneously combusting. I still feel that way even today. Taking off my shirt becomes imperative. When the hot flashes occur at night, as they usually do, stripping off my shirt is not a problem since I am at home and Phil has always enjoyed abrupt displays of semi-nudity. But in this case, these displays are nothing other than an attempt at cooling down. They are not an invitation to touch me! When my skin is so hot you could flash-fry bacon on my stomach, it’s best not to cuddle up to me or attempt an even friskier move. No, it would be best to just sympathize with me and murmur something appropriate and innocuous like “oh, you poor thing! Are you having another one?” and then back away slowly, avoiding eye contact. Do not touch! I repeat, do not touch!
Some hot flashes are strong enough to wake me up at night. One moment I’m dozing comfortably, burrowed under the covers like a normal person, and the next I feel as if someone has plugged me into an electrical socket. All of a sudden, I’m scrambling to get free of the sheets and blankets. After I cool down, I pull the covers back up . . . until the next flash comes along. This cycle continues all through the night and by morning, the bedclothes are twisted and gnarled, half on the bed, half on the floor. Poor Phil! He hasn't been sleeping well lately. I wonder why?
About a month ago, when temperatures first dropped below freezing at night, we were in bed. He looked over at me with covers pulled up to his chin as the ceiling fan was whirring overhead. There was a questioning look in his eyes that seemed to say, “Are we EVER going to be able to turn on the heat again?” As I locked eyes with him, I squinted, with the don't EVEN GO THERE look. As I turned over, I whispered, "just think of all the money we're saving on the heating bill!" Of course, he didn't hear me because he had already dug in and was fast asleep.
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
6 months check up with the Breast Surgeon
Today I drove to Fayetteville to meet with my breast surgeon. Although I got there about twenty minutes before my appointment, I knew I'd have to wait. My doctor is awesome so I don't mind waiting. She takes a lot of time with each of her patients making sure they understand everything and is always patient with questions too. I knew it would be about half an hour before I'd see her, so I settled into my big, cozy chair in the waiting room and caught up on some emails.
Almost half an hour passed to the minute when I heard my name being called. Normally, the first stop after walking through the doorway into the back office is at a scale in most doctors' offices, but not so with my doctor. She says there's no point in weighing her patients since most of them will lose a few pounds within a visit or two (speaking of the removal of one or both breasts!) I'm thankful she has that attitude. Wouldn't it be nice if none of our doctors were preoccupied with our weight?
After exchanging pleasantries, Dr. "S" asked me to disrobe. She did a visual exam and said my incisions are looking very nice. She took a few minutes to comment on her excellent surgical skills...I love her sense of humor! As she began to palpate my incisions, she stopped and hovered over an area underneath my right armpit. She asked if I had felt "that." I said, "if you're talking about that large lump, yes I have." She explained it was scar tissue and fluid build up. She said more than likely it was where the main beam of the radiation was targeted. She began to massage the area and I winced in pain as she did. She explained that she was trying to see if the scar tissue and fluid were able to be broken up by massage. She suggested we try therapeutic massage and she wrote a prescription for that but also mentioned that my husband could provide the same services at no charge. I laughed and told her I'd like to try that option first.
Dr. "S" asked if I had been wearing my "boobs." For those of you who don't know, I had both breasts removed in July without reconstruction and therefore, I have a very expensive pair of silicone breast prostheses. They are extremely heavy even though they are only a B cup. I explained to the doctor that I had not been wearing my boobs and told her why. She said if I don't start wearing them, my body is going to try to compensate for the lack of breast weight and my shoulders will start to round forward in a protective measure. This will cause not only shoulder problems but back pain...great. She said she would write a new prescription for some lighter weight boobs, but I'll have to wait until my deductible for 2015 is met before getting them because they'll cost a fortune. Even with insurance paying their part, the prostheses are very expensive.
I was asked how I was doing on the Tamoxifen and I explained I'd only been on it for 3 days so I hadn't noticed any real side effects yet other than hot flashes. "Usually," she said, "the meds don't really kick in until about 3 weeks and that's when you'll really start getting symptoms." She said if they get too bad, she'll prescribe Effexor to ease the hot flashes. Then she smiled a great big smile and crossed her arms. "They can get pretty bad," she said. Oh great...that's all I need, more side effects and more meds!
As I was leaving her office, Doc gave me a big hug and told me to have a happy New Year. I told her I was going to go home, dust off my fake boobs, and give them a trial run. She told me not to do anything she wouldn't do and I assured her I wouldn't! I guess the New Year will find me looking like a "Brick house" instead of flat and fabulous. I guess gaining a few pounds of silicone is better than gaining a few pounds of fat any day, isn't it? At least I can gain or lose the weight with a flick of the wrist as I unfasten my bra!
What I'm thinking:
I love my doctor! She's the best. She never makes me feel hurried or rushed. She always sits and listens and never makes me feel like I ask dumb questions. I wish all doctors were like her! I definitely don't want any side effects from Tamoxifen, and I don't want any more medication to take to correct the side effects if I do get them. My fake boobs are really heavy and I don't want to wear them but if I must I must. I don't want to have back problems from not wearing my boobs! It's been nice not to have to worry about wearing a bra but it's also been challenging. I am still self conscious about going out in public without boobs.
Listen to the Commodores sing "Brick House"
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
Monday, December 29, 2014
The rearview
Driving down the road, I can't help but look into my rear view mirror. Sometimes it's interesting to see how far you've come isn't it? But if you're continually looking in the rear view mirror, you can't see where you're going and you might just run off the road. Today I was reminded of this fact when I read Philippians 3:12-14. I need to stop focusing on what lies behind and press on toward the future and my goals. The new year is coming and it's time to think about some resolutions. The only one I really want to set and accomplish is to put cancer on the back burner and to get on with living my life.
Today is my second day on the chemotherapy drug, Tamoxifen. I was really hesitant about taking it since the Arimidex had so many side effects, but my oncologist said it's important for me to take this for the next 5 years and possibly for the next 10. Tamoxifen has been used for over 40 years so it has an established track record as being effective against recurring breast cancers. As adjuvant therapy, it helps to prevent the original breast cancer from returning and also helps to prevent the development of new cancers in the body. Since Estrogen can promote the growth of breast cancer cells, some breast cancers are classified as estrogen receptor-positive, which means that they have a protein to which estrogen will bind. These breast cancer cells need estrogen to grow. Tamoxifen works against the effects of estrogen on these cells. My cancer was both Estrogen and Progesterone positive and that's why Dr. Feinstein, my Oncologist, wants to aggressively treat it with an Estrogen blocking drug.
Tamoxifen has some serious side effects which include blood clots, strokes, uterine cancer, and cataracts. Other side effects of Tamoxifen are similar to the symptoms of menopause. The most common side effects are hot flashes and vaginal discharge. Some women experience irregular menstrual periods, headaches, fatigue, nausea and/or vomiting, vaginal dryness or itching, irritation of the skin around the vagina, and skin rash.
I wish I'd paid closer attention when my mother in law was having to take Tamoxifen for her breast cancer many years ago. I know she experienced several of the side effects but she never talked about them. Of course, I know everyone is different, so I may not experience the same ones she did, but still...I'm not looking forward to having to deal with the side effects that come my way.
It's hard to know what to do. All I can really do is trust my doctor's judgment and do what he says with regard to my treatment, but how do I know it's the right thing to do? Putting any kind of medication in your body isn't normal and I would much rather take the route of natural healing. But there are no guarantees with either. Before being diagnosed with cancer, I always ate healthy foods. I exercised and did all the things I knew to benefit my body so it would be healthy and strong and yet, I got cancer.
Some people think that we all have cancer cells in our bodies and some people's cancer cells become active while others lie dormant, but that is simply not true. "Everyone has cells that have mutant proteins
from DNA damage, but to say that that's cancer would be alarmist," says
Jennifer Loros, Ph.D, a professor of biochemistry and genetics at
Dartmouth medical school. "A cell's natural cycle has checkpoints when it
determines whether it's in a healthy state and should divide, or is
damaged and should repair or kill itself. Cancer can occur when the
normal checkpoints in the cell cycle are misregulated somehow and the
[unhealthy] cell starts dividing."
Since March, my focus has been on cancer. The second I found the mass in my breast, my attention remained on my health. I've been through test after test, biopsies, lab tests, surgeries, radiation and now chemotherapy. When I look in the rear view mirror of my life, I see how far I've come...how many obstacles have been placed in my path and how many I've been able to jump over. It's been so difficult to traverse through each one, but God has given me the strength to do it. I have to agree with the Apostle Paul, "...forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has allowed me to be on this path, but He's also been with me through the entire journey. He has never left my side. He's never left me alone to figure things out. He has used this cancer to teach me and grow me. I know you've heard me say that many times before, but it's true! I have no clue where this next year is going to take me and I'm kind of glad I don't. For me, I'd rather not know what's coming because I like the suspense of not knowing. You may wonder how I can say that, but it's because I have faith. Without faith, I would be unable to hope for good things in the future. I would be unable to trust that God holds my future in the palm of His hands, but I know He does.
Looking backward is fun for a moment or two, but looking ahead is so much more rewarding. The older I get, the more I realize how fast the years are flying by. There's not a moment to waste and I don't want to spend time focusing on the ones that have already passed by. I want to focus on the ones that are yet to come! 2015 is going to be a year filled with excitement and adventure and I'm looking forward with great anticipation to see where God takes me and how we're going to get there. I hope your new year is filled with many blessings and that you'll choose to look ahead and not behind.
©bonnie annis all rights reserved
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